Thoughts In Cyberspace

Lost Clips

2008-02-13T12:41:00.002-05:00

Kinda forgot I had a blog actually

If you're into the show LOST you should check out these 'non aired scenes'

"Missing Pieces"

Would You Rather...

2008-01-16T22:46:00.000-05:00

A) Listen to the Bay / Bloor Radio guy smack his pasty gums&tongue together while reciting the entire dictionary?

B) Listen to the Spence Diamond guy voice over both Mel Gibson in Braveheart and Russell Crowe in Gladiator?

C) Run naked through a razor blade factory on Iodine Day?

Me, personally, give me C hands down.

Carpoolers

2008-01-09T15:00:00.000-05:00

The show wasn't that great - but this promo kicks ass! Not much needs to be said - unless of course if you're female, then well... you just won't understand.

Enjoy.

Crazy Facts About Me:

2007-12-20T16:55:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the link Rob. Enjoy all:

26

$4275.00

53%

Recap:

26 Kids. That would actually be a lot of fun. I'd no doubt take some sneaky shots to the marbles and some bruises, but I could totally take them.

$4,200? Fuck that. It's obviously not selling me off pc by pc on ebay or black market. Pfft, for that money I may as well keep on truck'n.

53% Chance of surviving a Zombie attack. Eh, I'm okay with that one. I don't own any guns which probably hurts my chances greatly, and really, being a Zombie doesn't seem all that bad.

Funny Video

2007-12-18T16:36:00.000-05:00

Something about the accents that make it that much better.

Enjoy

Addicting Game Alert: Cube

2007-12-03T16:39:00.001-05:00

Not bad.

Fancy version of connect the dots.

CUBE

Work Christmas Party: Part 2

2007-12-03T14:08:00.000-05:00

The Friday morning of the event I can honestly say I did nothing at work. Made some Facebook Scrabble moves, ate breakfast with L in my office - sent L on some errands involving picking up beer for the Limo ride and Hotel rooms (I actually thought I was going to work while she was gone... I didn't). And prepared for the 24 hour extravaganza that awaited.

Once all the significant others showed up we had some lunch, the bosses made a presentation, my first Christmas gifts of 2007! L and I each got a really nice black coat. It's similar to those puffy vests that were all the rage but with long sleeves and not nearly as puffy. It has a faux down feel too it & for how light it is, is by far the warmest jacket I own. Nice. And the employees also received a Christmas Card - containing two reds and a brown boy! Spending money. Sweet.

The Limo showed up and the drinking began. The two bottles of wine that were waiting for me in the Stretched H1 was not nearly enough and were gone quickly. The beer started flowing by the time we turned on the QEW and one of the guests even brought a "left over" bottle of Veuve Rose, yes please! Now we're riding in Style. Limo, Veuve, Stella & Wolfblass. All we were missing was Cavier, Cocaine and Lindsay Lohan to be maxed out on cool.

Arrived at the Hotel Hilton just adjacent the Fallsview Casino and checked in. Powered back the remainder of our cooler in the hotel room with a few others sharing some classic work chat and getting to know their guests before heading to the Casino and spending some of our cash gift. L and I hit the same blackjack table, and while I was dealt 5 first card 2's in a row, and got down to my final $15 minimum bet, I worked it back a nice profit then called it quits. (Side Note: The Dealer hit an impressive 5 ace 20. He was hence forth known as the Ace Burner).

It was Keg Dinner time. Artichoke Dip followed by the Steak and Crab dinner was on the menu for me. So was 3 double Baileys on the rocks and a few double rye and cokes. Some shooters came out a bit later, but I was not responsible for those - although I did partake. I was even able to catch a glimpse of the Bill. 5 or 6 of us took a guess at it, ranging from $1,200 - $2,400. My guess was $1,750 and while the actual bill came to $1,733 (a $17 difference) the Price is Right rules were implemented and I lost to the person who guessed $1,700... Either way, a damn good guess. (Although I suppose since I was responsible for most of it, it was easy to guesstimate haha - 17 people for the record)

Drunk & full - it was gambling time. People split the casino heading to their favorite game. I ended up at the Ultimate Hold'em Game with a few other co-workers, fun enough version of Hold'Em versus only the dealer set up in a Black Jack style seating table. Not the best odds I've found but if the dealer gets cold, you can win a lot of cash. I won some decent money on the game. And in my usual way, made very good friends with the Pit Boss.

It was now bed time for a few people, including L who wasn't feeling too great after dinner. But it was Midnight after an already long day of drinking. I stayed up though and put my name on the waiting list for $2-$5NL Hold'em in the poker room (a non social game but since everyone was leaving what the hell). After about 45 minutes of waiting and playing the Ultimate game another small profit I cashed into the 2-5 game for the maximum $200. JJ and AK to start on my first two hands I was already up about $150. And after putting a brutal beat on one guy an hour later (ha, that normally only happens to me) I was up big. Few bluffs and few hands later (although admittedly I was uber-tight) I cashed out just before 5am with $1150 in front of me). Some $ fell out of my pocket into some slot machines on the way back that didn't pay shit, but what else is new.

So all told I profited about $700, $500 earned since I was given $200 to play with. I ended up being the big winner of the night, but for the most part nobody was down. I think the worst scenario was someone who was only coming home with $100 remaining of their $200 gift. The only loser was the company, the way it should be.

A 5 Star Breakfast Buffet @ 9am (yup only 2.5 hours of drunken sleep for me) on the hotels 33rd floor, overlooking the falls in a complete white out blizzard (really cool to see actually) was very tasty, and helped sober me up. It was not long until we were all back at the office and the 24 hour whirl wind Christmas party was over.

Picture took place the day before - no blizzard pictures to report.

The Profitable Couple

And not one dirty old man Santa to report.

BoomShuffle.com

2007-11-21T13:32:00.001-05:00

So I stumbled across this really cool website (Read: Stole the idea from The World of Mr. H)

I must say quite the cool little mo-fo. Easily create your own playlist of almost any artist, any song in just minutes. It's like plugging $1,000 into the office juke box. What's that??? Your office doesn't have a juke box? You poor souls. Anyway, now it does - and you own it. Check it out http://www.boomshuffle.com

Here is a playlist I created in honestly like 4 minutes - I think this will get me through the rest of the day.

Enjoy

Addicting Game Alert: Dice Wars

2007-11-16T10:36:00.001-05:00

I told you lightning pool was frustrating - mostly just kept playing for the sake of trying to finish it. 63 levels, no end in sight - enough with that game. I've been playing this one for a month or so now, it's much more fun - very quick version of Risk.

Dice Wars

Cal State Marching Band

2007-11-14T10:25:00.000-05:00

This video should finally bring peace between the worlds nerds and bullies. Keep in mind it's shot upside down, but fantastic none the less.

Work Christmas Party

2007-11-13T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's work Christmas Party time and it can be a good thing or a bad thing. For some people a Christmas party means sandwiches and punch in the boardroom where random $20 gifts are secretly exchanged, and most times you would rather a) just keep the gift you bought for someone else, or b) wish you kept the twenty. For others a huge hall, fancy dinner and awkward encounters with various employees you barely know including the accounts payable girl who's name you're pretty sure is Gupta. Not to mention the Boss dressed up as a drunk of his ass Santa Claus, an excuse to get the ladies to sit on his lap (you've all had that guy don't lie). Now and then you get a nice 40-50 person party, drinks appetizers, good company (even if it is work chat) and all in all a pretty decent time. For me, working for a company that consists of 12 people, 3-4 of which are never in the office, makes for a quiet Christmas Party, or so you would think.

This year, the full gang, spouses included are piling into 2 big ass limousines around 11am on Friday and heading to Niagara Falls for the Night. Included in this trip will be Limo (there and back), Nice Hotel, Dinner at the Keg, Breakfast at the Hotel, and I'm guessing some drinks in the Limo, and open tab during dinner.

Got to be honest, I'm looking forward to this variation of the Christmas Party. If everything goes as planned it will be a great time - some great food, some gambling, some shooters, some general hijinx while in Niagara Falls. Now if you'll excuse me I need to find a Santa suit.

Addictive Game Alert: Lightning Pool

2007-11-06T16:14:00.000-05:00

Bah, it's okay. Kills the time thats for damn sure. But really more frustrating in some spots than fun. It's no portal.

Lightning Pool

Note
Turn your speakers down if they're on, otherwise you'll get busted on the opening screen with a loud CRASH - I'm not working!

Can of " Where Yah Beans?"

2007-11-06T12:25:00.000-05:00

At first glance of my title to this long awaited post you may think I'm going to explain where I've 'bean' of late, and why my blogging has lacked posts. And while it would have been a very witty title if it were - this post is actually about a can of beans.

I received a mysterious and somewhat surprisingly heavy package for it's size today at work. It was addressed to 'Grey Cory' so I assumed that meant me. Understandably it's far from Ms. Chanadaler Bong as far as mistyped names go, but whatever is inside this package is off to a rocky start. Now while the contents were mysterious, the company it was from was not. Marked UNDERSTAND > CREATE > DELIVER it was heavily branded NIMLOK, a display and exhibition solutions centre. For those who are not in the know, that means simply they provide and create trade show booths. Something I've once contacted them about. But lets get back to the package itself shall we? (Thats what she said).

Aside from the branding and misspelled name one other thing about the packaging struck me as odd. Along the top of this package, in huge print was the term "BAKEABLE"... another misprint maybe? Obviously not.

So yes, suspense aside, inside the package was this:

It reads:

Front: Pictured above

Where have you been?

(of course the "a" in bean is crossed out to really hammer down the play on words we're going for here)

We haven't spoken for so long. Was it something we said, or something we didn't say?

Such as...

Back: (Because the cliffhanger on the front left me in suspense)

Nimlock having way more than 57 mixes in it's exhibition capabilities. (As I just typed that I picked up on another fucking play on the beans, 57... Heinz... Heinz 57... Jesus, now we're really getting into it).

We'd like to ketchup (sorry), soon

[Oh dear. Now they're actually apologizing for these puns. I suppose if you're apologizing for them, I can forgive you. Just don't do it again].

So expect to hear about a company in the exhibition industry that isn't half-baked (sorry again.)

[I'm starting to think they're not all that sorry. And 'Half-Baked', that's not even a good one.]

So there it is - that is my can of beans update. So let's discuss the pro's and con's of this half baked promotion - and no, I won't apologize for using the term half baked, because unlike their use of it, mine makes sense.

Pro's:

1. Nimlock Name Recognition - I suppose if I was ever on the market again for Trade Show equipment, I would have to recall the guys who sent me beans right?

2. Free Lunch

Con's:
1. I failed to mention above that also marked on this package was the Canada Post stamp that read: $6.33. WOW. How many $1 cans of beans did they send out at $6.33 a clip, for a total of $7.33 each?

2. If you think about it, it's more of a clever little way to string 5-6 puns together than it was an effective promotion (unless of course one of you readers goes out and buys something from them based on this post). And I find when things are done as a way to be clever than effective (i.e. a phone call for the low low cost of NOTHING)it leads me to believe some intern thought of it after he took an extended lunch break where he met up with his other intern buddies, and boiled a bowl of grass. Not to discount some of the great ideas that can be thought of immediately after smoking drugs, I'm just not sure this was one of them.

I think instead of further evaluating this promotion, I will go for an extended lunch with the shipping intern and enjoy my $7 can of beans for lunch. Although next time, if I could pass along one piece of advice for the NIMLOCK people, the beans baked in maple are REALLY good.

Unbelievable Finish

2007-10-29T09:25:00.000-04:00

There was "The Play" we've all seen 1,000,000 times, even if we are not sports fans we can picture the player nearing the endzone, bowling over the tuba player before scoring what is ultimately the best Touchdown in the history of any level of football. Now while the band is lacking on this particular DIII school's play, it's great none the less.

And oh how the announcers attitude changes after the first 10 laterals, when maybe, just maybe, they may have something going.

Enjoy

Addictive Game Alert: Portal

2007-10-19T09:18:00.000-04:00

The first few stages are to teach you the fundimentals, and while the game principle reamins the same each level, and I'm not a huge fan of the controls, the game itself is a great concept and a lot of fun. I think there are 40 levels, and from the same computer you can load any previous level. Enjoy

Portal

Art Vandelay 2

2007-10-15T13:51:00.001-04:00

So I picked up the Drunk Monkey and the Sandman on Saturday (They look fantastic!), and scored a kick ass deal on the Spaghetti Clown. A 1921 piece that's actually not framed, it's on a massive over sized canvas that is now hanging in my dining room, kinda looks like an original painting that way. bringing the red from the kitchen to the yellow that is our living room. Got to be honest, it looks great.

Here it is, the Spaghetti Clown:

Whoop

2007-10-04T13:30:00.000-04:00

There it is.

American Gladiators Returns

American Gladiators Returns 2

Art Vandelay

2007-10-03T15:50:00.000-04:00

What do you call a no armed, no legged man hanging on my wall?

ART!

While I would like to recap the rest of those school yard jokes including: Phil, Russell, Bill, Bob & Matt, it's simply an intro to my main point, not the actual steak and potatoes of this blog dinner. You see in my new house, while I love every inch, I currently have many a barren wall and I need to do something about it. The closest I've come to owning actual art in my past would involve sports stars or empty beer bottles in one fashion or another. And although my empty beer bottle wall did accrue to an impressive $50, I don't think that's what Monet or,... or... or those other guys had in mind when they created their version of "Art".

But aside from a punchline, Art is funny in another way. Most people can look at 2 similar pieces, one created by a 3rd Grader with finger paint, and another created by Jackson Pollock with well... finger paint, and not tell the difference. Now although that may be an extreme example, the point is, people know what they like, beyond that knowledge is pretty limited. Makes sense to me: I need to find something I(in the we sense) like.

Something I've always really enjoyed is advertising pieces, specifically vintage advertisements. A family friend of mine, with a long LONG history of family vendors / retailers had numerous examples of vintage advertisements in their home that they collected over the years, and I always found it very appealing - partially the reason why I began in advertising to begin with. After looking through various themed vintage pieces, the alcohol themed ads emerged as my favourites. Advertising & Alcohol... hmm, obviously not a new concept. There is a LOT of it.

2 stuck out as winners, and although there are 15-20 more that would also look nice, like most Art, 'she ain't cheap'. So two will have to do for now. And I don't really have that much room anyway since the two I bought are very large, replica prints, nearly 3' x 5', framed, mounted, matted and put behind glass forever! I decided on the 'Drunk Monkey' and 'Sandman', or that's what I'll call them from now on. After all, the point is: I (we) really like them. You've probably even seen them once or twice before.

Here they are:

Porto & Sherry Sandeman, 1931
"The Sandman"

Anisetta Evangelisti, Liquore Da Dessert
"The Drunk Monkey"

For Posts Sakes!

2007-10-01T09:49:00.000-04:00

Bad Blogger!

- Have a lot of visitors coming by the house the next 2 weeks, all of which I'm looking forward too. 2 couples are coming over for dinner tomorrow night, see the new house, maybe brush some dust of the Wii, that should be fun. Thanksgiving is this upcoming weekend where it's my Dad's turn to see the new house, maybe even the mythical older brother will make an appearance as well. The following Wednesday M&K are coming by, squeezing us into their Ontariopalooza 2007 Tour - which I'm sure is jammed packed so we're lucky to the whole night with them, the Wii dust will be long gone that night and I may just have to be sick that Thursday *cough cough* i feel the cough due to cold setting in now. 3 Day Week!!!

- Clue: Master Detective is simply put a fantastic game! We received this masterpiece (it was only ever produced in 1988) as a housewarming gift from our other obsessed sleuther friends S&S - Ebay and weeks of searching.. thanks guys!!! 4 New Characters, 2 new weapons, 7 new rooms (although they cut out 4 for a net of 3 rooms) make for a harder more intense game. I've gone a little cold in my reign as Master Inspector, losing my last two games. I started the series by winning the first 4 games, we've now played 6 total, 7 if you count the one where Col. Mustard killed Mr. Body with the revolver in the... lead pipe (oops). Although I still have a respectable ratio, I'm quickly being out sleuthed by the competition, which makes for really close fun games! The gameplay is much better than the original as well, 2 Dice (vs 1) and rooms being closer together mean very few turns are wasted - and even with a horrible roll, there may be an option for you to gain an advantage over your competition! If you would like to visit for a night of murder solving, just let me know.

- The PVR is going in full force. I'm trying out new shows like Cavemen, Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, Bionic Women before making my yearly cuts. So far BBT is pretty funny, and the Bionic women simply may not be hot enough for the show to survive, I know sexist right? But oh so true. Heroes, CSI, Survivor are all back so those are back into the mix, and final cuts must be made before Friday Night Lights / Lost and 24 comes back. Studio 60 was cut for me, which wasn't cool at all, but I've grieved, and now must move on.

- The NHL Season is back. I don't get near as excited as I used to. And I'm only in one hockey pool. Crazy! Maybe football has taken away some of the importance, or maybe with the outlook for the Leafs the past few years lucky to get the 6-7-8 seed, it's hard to get excited. Anyway, I'll watch for sure, but seeing all 82 Leafs games this year is not going to happen.

- Speaking of football, WTF happened this weekend? Some craziness is taking place in the world of the NFL, as well as my world of Fantasy Football. I think the ship will right itself soon...

- Big Halloween party coming up, I'm currently the defending costume champion for both the 70's party and last year's Halloween Party, so there's a lot of pressure with my choice this year. So I may (MAY!) just cut some holes out of a sheet this year and phone it in, let someone else win ;) If the party is anything like it was last year, perhaps I dress up as a hobo trying to collect spare change, so this way when I wake up on the sidewalk with the worlds worst hangover at 4 in the afternoon covered in my own urine, maybe I'll have made a few bucks.

Okay enough for now, back to work.
Talk to you all soon,
Greg.

More Robot Chicken:

2007-09-19T10:57:00.000-04:00

I took my own advice and searched deeper into youtube and found this gem. NSFW (Profanity)

New Blog Link

2007-09-18T12:59:00.000-04:00

I have never linked another blog before other than those people I personally know.

I've gone to this one the past few weeks and it's really solid. Topic: Sports. But it's a good read even for non hardcore sports fans. Add it to your list, it's good.

100% Injury Rate

You Tube Gem: Robot Chicken

2007-09-18T10:02:00.000-04:00

So, I've been checking out "Video's being watched right now" on youtube. For the most part people are retarded and watch some crazy ass shit - but now and then you find a video you would otherwise not have watched and actually enjoy. It started with me watching this video, that someone else at the time had sought out and allowed me to learn about Robot Chicken

In searching for the video again to post here, I find a bonus Godzilla clip for your enjoyment.

Robot Chicken is a sketch show that parodies a number of pop culture conventions using stop motion animation of toys, action figures, dolls, and claymation (usually for special effects) and various other objects, such as tongue depressors.

The video I found after the one above, was this 10 Ten Star Wars clips from RC, that I felt the need to share. I would search others, there are a lot of them. I've been missing them up to this point, and am happy to have found them now. Robot Chicken Rules!

Can I Pass? Pt. 2

2007-09-13T13:13:00.000-04:00

Before I tell you my mark lets recap what needed to be done. In my post Can I Pass? I wrote about needing to cram in 75 classroom / study hours into a 1 week period in which I was busy moving, working and preparing for a major portion of my life - no easy task even though I had started. It's not a task I wish one anybody because, admittedly it's very unprepared and although over the years I've become about the best damn producer during such times of procrastination, it does not always lead to success. And lets be honest, I wasn't studying for a physical, there was a lot of material to cover, a completely new career field, and difficult legals and principles to grasp.

The studying went fairly well during my work week, and while at work, leading up to the exam - I would come in an hour or so early and stay an hour late, even the once during my review I crammed until 11 - sitting at my desk at work. The nights were still spent near the televised baseball games, but I did have a book in my hand.

The saving grace that made me feel for the first time that a pass could be within reach was chapter 6 of my studies - Appraisal Math! I simply enjoy math, mostly because I'm so damn good at it. There's no memorizing math - you have to know it. You can't BS math, there is no bonus marks for 3 sentences versus 10 sentences of BS, there is right and wrong, and if you know what right is, you can focus more on the BS'ing and for a 3 hour exam with 4 hours worth of material, that is a huge plus.

And then there's all the people who wrote in the forums section of my online portfolio {mental note - don't look here again} here are some comments and questions I read of Phase II after finishing my studies before writing my exam?

Question: Do I really have to buy the workbook?

Answer: It's almost mandatory for correspondence and I highly recommend it, much better exam review questions and guidance than without it.

Thought: Um,... there's a workbook?

Question: Is it true taking the course via online training is a horrible idea? Do the classrooms make it that much easier with the teachers going over every detail and give you better exam review questions?

Answer: Yes, if at all possible attend the classroom sessions, the teachers go over everything and it's a fun interactive environment - learned a lot. If you can't do it by classroom, do it by correspondence and buy the workbook. Your last resort is to do it by self learning online.

Thought: Fuck. And what the fuck is all this shit about a workbook?

Classic students classically undermining each others approach, but it frazzled me for a bit. Then it reminded me of why I did it via self training online, here is a way to sum it up:

Question: Do you want to play in both your baseball leagues and have some sort of a life on Saturdays for the rest of the Summer? How much would you pay to avoid a classroom of foreign idiots that love raising their hand to hear themselves talk and suck up to the teacher? If you fail the first test because you forgot to actually motivate yourself to study, do you mind writing the make-up test to get it right the second time?

Answer: I love baseball, I would like to not attend class on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a couple months if it means playing baseball in the summer, and yes I enjoy Saturdays as well. Oh, like 10 Grand - I hate those fucking kids. Although the swirlies I would give those little bastards might be fun. And yes, writing the test twice would not be the end of the world.

So after the test initially I felt relieved. Pass or Fail it was a major stressor now in the past in which I could no longer control. So I forgot all about it for the time being and painted our new home. When asked how I did I said "okay", I was confident my mark began with a "7", problem was I needed the second number to be over a 5, it was going to be close - unlike the first one.

Problem is I just got my mark, and I failed to have my exam result begin with that 7 after all. But I have a lot to be proud of. The success rate of those who study solo online isn't nearly as good as the other approaches so I gave it a good go. And I still had as good of a summer as possible, this summer without baseball would have been reason for a killing spree. So the next test I write I will be much more prepared because leaving it so late, even though I'm usually really good at it is never a good idea................

Moved In

2007-09-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

Well, we're pretty much settled I'd say. Unpacked most of last week and have been enjoying the new house most of the weekend. Today would be a good day to pick up a few things here and there, but more things are closed today because of the Holiday then on Christmas. Everything is closed today... I didn't even know Walmart closed.

Anyway, be trucking around the house today, accomplishing not a whole lot I'm sure. Hope you have a good Holiday Monday before returning to the dreaded office.

Later, G.

British CSI Video

2007-08-27T14:56:00.002-04:00

Funny enough.

Enjoy.

Addictive Game Alert: Pinch Hitter 2

2007-08-23T09:34:00.000-04:00

Pinch Hitter 2

Don't let the little bastards fool you, they've read your scouting report and they're good. This game is much tougher than you'd expect.

Enjoy

Heads Will Roll...

2007-08-20T11:41:00.000-04:00

Just found out the Couch and TV Stand purchased at the Brick several weeks ago may not actually be ready for delivery until the first week of October. Now saying "October" makes it sound further away than it really is, BUT that's not the point. I was mislead during the sales process that delivery would be timely when requested, which makes me feel this sale was made with the intent of misrepresentation. Which may have me calling for the persons job... or at least a large (small) cash settlement.

Something tells me this may be one of those times I have to bend over and say "thank you may I have another". But we all know the likelihood of me doing that. Wish me luck, I'll keep you updated. .

The Draft

2007-08-20T09:51:00.000-04:00

This past Saturday was our Fantasy Football Draft. Now there is still a large majority of the world that does not understand the importance of this each year, and will compare Fantasy Football to the likes of those geeks who enjoy Dungeons & Dragons etc. Well those people are DEAD WRONG!, cause unlike D&D, Fantasy Football is super awesome cool and kicks ass!

Our league has been in existence since 1998, at 12 people since 1999. So thats 9 years of history! Draft Day is the biggest day of the football calendar since it's where you either donate your entry fee with bad & unlucky picks or you give yourself a chance to make a run for money... but the money has very little to actually do with it, our league Trophy is the real prize and the bragging rights that go along with it over those other 11 guys is priceless.

Life gets in the way sometimes though... and for 3 years now we have failed to get 12 of us in the same room. One year it was a guy in a hotel room via the company phone bill making his draft picks, another 2 guys huddled around a phone who couldn't make the trip 2 years ago, and last year a different guy, a different long distance phone call. We set a specific date this year, at last years draft, giving us ample time to make other plans should something come up on that day. Well, a lot of people didn't get the memo. 4 kids were born in that time, and one more is on the way. (3 of those kids belong to one guy!!!) 5 people have moved houses in that span, 3 are in the process of closing houses right now, and an impromptu family trip, an impromptu surgery and guess what... the date originally set no longer worked. So after quite an arduous time trying to make it happen still, we decided this past Saturday, late at night would work. Life ALMOST got in the way of that as well. 1 guy shook off his wife getting food poisoned with a 2 month old at home (she felt better after a good afternoon sleep) he made it... and the other guy actually made his first round selection from an emergency room, his second selection from his cell phone while driving, and after blowing the ligaments in his knee playing rugby, a long but useless hospital visit, a painful drive across the 407, he made it in time for the last 14 rounds. For the first time in a very long time, all 12 of us in the same room, a few worse for wear, but there.

So thanks to those 12 guys for sure, it's not easy, but as you can guess it's important to us - and it all worked out. Maybe next year it will be easier. Maybe not...

Check out this video which I think is very fitting:

NFL Commercial

Can I pass?

2007-08-13T22:17:00.000-04:00

So here's the deal. I write my Phase II Real Estate Exam on August 25th @ 9am. I have 60 classroom hours to make up, plus an additional 10-15 of proper studying time. Take the following pluses, or minuses into account and guess my mark.

It's ALL short answer, no multiple choice. (Minus)

You need 75% to pass, no 50% BS... (BIG MINUS)

It's open book. (Plus)

They're 1,000 page books and you MUST know exactly where to look (Minus)

There are 6 Units with 3 subdivisions in each, so call it 18 major lessons. (Minus)

I have studied and am confident with 2.5 of them as of this moment. (Minus)

It's Monday night, technically 12 days before I write my exam. (Minus)

I get the keys to my very first house on August 23rd. (Minus)

I have a lot of meetings, bank visits and minor shit to do to get that house closed. (Minus)

There is a slim chance during those meetings I will learn something important that will be on the exam (Plus)

I (we) have to pack the entire townhouse before then. (Minus)

If my job workload this week was a campfire sign it would be a faint yellow with a green tinge colour. (Plus)

I am pissing away Saturday and Sunday this weekend with Football / drinking related shinanighans. (Plus)... oops Minus

I'm writing this post rather than actually studying. (Minus)

My true goal is to get to a point where if I get really lucky I can pass the first time, but to gain enough knowledge to make my re-write 2 weeks after I fail, a breeze. (Minus)

Guess away:

For Posts Sakes!

2007-08-08T13:55:00.000-04:00

Wow, talk about slacking off in cyberspace? Whats new you ask? Well lets see what comes out in the next few bullet points:

- Got a pretty decent size raise at work, which is nice. Considering the impending career change, it's nice to know you're still appreciated. But it has had negative effects on my motivation to attempt the career change as I have very little time to study for my phase II exam in, oh, 2.5 weeks. 60 Classroom hours with assignments to be made up in a couple nights studying... we'll see how that goes. But I will find a way, because the thoughts of not sitting at a desk early next year are still very vivid, and once this phase is out of the way, I'll be so close to having a backup plan should the urge ever come over me to yell "Take this job, and stuff it"!. I doubt that urge will cross my mind, but shit, we all have bad days.

- Brooklin life is very close. Things are going well with that so far. I have a ton of shit to sell on Craigslist to downsize before we move. Kind of funny, moving out of apartment life into the wonderful world of homeownership and we need to downsize - BIG TIME??? Sounds odd doesn't it. Wouldn't be surprised if by the time we're finished we have another garbage bag post to draw up. Paint colours were selected by L & I with the help of a professional at our last house visit. So need to find some painters (volunteers accepted) before we move in. The last house visit was good for other reasons, we bought a corner office desk for the upstairs bedroom / office easily worth $200 even used, for $50. It's amazing what people will sell something for when they would otherwise have to disassemble it, move it, re-assemble it... BARGOONIE! We also picked up an antique side table (Cutlery Drawer Table) for $25. Guessing Hans and Frans of Antique's roadshow would say we did well on that purchase as well. Hope they don't freak out when I use it as a "beer coaster". Also recently purchased just about the sweetest leather couch you ever did see for our upstairs living area, from the BRICK. Not going to tell you the price tag on that (although I did negotiate 36% off!), but trust me you're ass will thank you when you see it. It's a couch / lounge too, so you can get those feet up, ooooh you can feel it now can't you?

- Fun weekends are on hold for a bit now as I resort to cleaning, packing and studying. Last weekend was our Annual Runge Cottage Blow-Out, another great time. Enough to tie me over for a bit anyway until we get settled in Brooklin. Had a very respectable Bocce Ball record, and if you want to play wrong handed ever (you never know), you'd be lucky to have me as your partner - who knew. I even successfully defended my H2H 3-Man Title... this time with 2 opponents. I didn't think I would ever put the belt on the line again, but had 2 #1 Contenders team up on me... poor bastards didn't know what hit em.

Two weekends ago was a fishing trip to Z's cottage on Rice Lake, I caught 4 nice fish, about 15 fewer than I should have caught for the amount of time spent fishing, but still enough to land the big fish, and total fish prizes. For those counting at home that's 4 straight "derby's" I've won money in. Big one for 2007 is still a month away, more on that another post. The fish posted is a Large Mouth Bass, and although it may not look like it is really thick, nearing 3lbs, which is nothing to sneeze at.

- Big Brother has my full attention this year. Normally I only tune in now and then, check it out, but this year I've watched it all. Sure it's normally at midnight off the PVR before bed, but I'm still watching. It's pretty good so far.

- Disappointed with the NUMBER 23 starring Jim Carrey, was looking forward to it actually, but turned out to be a B Rated Horror Thriller with A actors...tricky movie studios, shame on you!

- Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" is probably the worst "popular" song in 2 years...Maybe since Hoobastank...Although Hoobastanks "The Reason" is still worse - for now.

Okay, well those are my spewings for Posts Sakes. I'll keep you up to date on the above and more. Stay tuned, G.

Last Comic Standing: Season 5

2007-07-25T22:05:00.000-04:00

For those that are in the "know" I am a huge reality TV junkie, I enjoy the human humiliation that comes with "The Tribe Has Spoken", "Is that your final answer you dumbass?", and "You've got 10 seconds to pack your things and get the FUCK OUT"... but what you may not know, and perhaps because it's never found it's niche among the big "Reality Shows", but Last Comic Standing, is about the best show Reality TV has to offer, in the truer sense. And I think part of it is the incredibly fair way they narrow down the top 10... basically no alliances, no coups, not a whole lot tricks or ways to play the game other than be funny or get out. But this isn't a sales pitch on watching the show although if you're not watching, it's excellent - still time to get in as they just picked their finalists.

GERRY DEE I'm happy to say is one of the 10 finalists this season after coming so very close last year (the clip below he mentions voting for him on NBC - that was from a wildcard online contest last season). Gerry is from North York, Ontario, and I've actually briefly met him. He's good friends with my Boss and we do his promotional posters / advertising. He seems like a good guy - down to earth and in my opinion and the real reason I'm cheering for him is he's HILARIOUS! I think he's got a good chance to win the $250,000 Grand Prize. So tune in, cheer him on. If you're not familiar with some of his stuff, here's a clip:

GERRY DEE 13 MINUTES OF GOLD

Enjoy.

Kung-POW

2007-07-19T16:47:00.000-04:00

Greg likes his chicken spicy... But asking for "a little extra sauce" was a mistake. I should have realized this when the chef looked at me like I was a mexican speaking cartoon character, but he graciously obliged and I muscled my way through a Chicken Stir-Fry this afternoon. This is gonna hurt in the morning.

Wii Accessories

2007-07-18T09:58:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'll hand it to Nintendo, sales are now 4/1 on the PS3, still sold out across the board in all major department stores and Wii Sports, the game that actually comes with the system, is really all one needs! Unlike Mario and Duck Hunt... common. Anyway shown here is the new "Zapper" or a unique way to stick your two controllers into a "Gun" and shoot shit! Neat-o.

The one accessory that gets an A for effort and most likly a F for Fucking NO way in Hell - is the Wii Fit. Below are two videos. The first one shows you the fit being used. The second one shows what myself and a few drunken buddies have to say:

Wii Fit Commercial

Wii Fit Parody

Addicting Game Alert: Bloxorz

2007-07-16T14:20:00.001-04:00

Bloxorz

Fun and Challenging without the 3 hours needed for a Blades of Steel Tournament.

Enjoy

Asian Drive-In et. al.

2007-07-16T10:18:00.000-04:00

This weekend was the back half of 2 rather mundane weekends in a row, although last weekend sure was productive. Friday, Liz and I decided to do nothing. She had some school work, I had some TV to catch up on. Come 8:30ish, after some of the catching up was finished we decided to go for a drive. We ended up at the 11pm showing of Ratatouille in Newmarket. What's more shocking, Ratatouille or Newmarket? The movie was good, and the Pixar animation is still out of this world, but the lack of stars in this one, and mediocre storyline ranks it my least favourite Pixar movie, but still worth seeing. The highlight to this movie was the Pixar Short Movie before the main movie - it's really funny.

Saturday was a trip to Brooklin! SnH visited her kickass new house to ensure the couple she's buying the place from didn't sell her new stuff! Nice couple, crazy nice neighbors, Brooklin versus Toronto will take some getting used to for S&S... Yonge Street and Homeless Crazy people will be missed I think. We of course did the slow stalker style drive by of our house 4 minutes away - two very different houses for sure - both super kickass! Looking forward to calling it home. Upon arriving back home Liz and I decided to go out again, furniture shopping. Nothing major, not much I liked, but it killed an afternoon. I did buy a decent wood table in the "Loonie Bin" at the Brick Warehouse - basically if it's in that room there's a reason it's listed at a stupid price. The table was listed at $99, and had a ding on top, and a hole out of the back - but since I was going to transform this gem into a TV Stand anyway, it didn't much effect anything. I found a salesman who I asked to save me the tax, I wanted to pay exactly $99. He said "no way" it's final price in this room. So I did what any good haggler would do... found a new salesman. After deliberating if this was a good purchase or not for an hour, I paid my $99 no tax and stuffed it in the car. On the way home we saw the Pacific Mall - the Asian Mall of Markham, and decided what the hell.

Asian Malls - I've been in one before in Toronto - it's where I got my PS1 illegally mod-chipped to play burned games. Where else would you get something like that done? Or more specifically, where else would you see a big sign on a store window advertising such "Mod Chips - Play Burned Games - $20". Anyway, the Pacific mall puts the other mall to shame - after all, it's smack in the middle of Markham, aka Little Shanghai. There are 5 types of stores ONLY in the Asian Mall, and considering there are 100+ stores, it's interesting there's enough Yuan to go around. It's like a bad episode of the Flintstones with the rotating background of these places:

Store #1 - Female Clothing / Accessories Store: There's no male clothing in Asian Malls - duh?! The culture dictates that Men wear whatever the can find in the trash, while the women wear designer (or atleast designer knockoffs) clothing on every aspect of their body. Hats, Glasses, Dresses, Shoes and Purses. You're not going to find a Gap or Old Navy in these places. Oh, and you think White Mannequins looks funny

Store #2 - Hair Salons: Men & Women in this case - Equally. Women get the big thick blond or red streaks done while the men turn their heads into a beds of nails. For not purchasing clothing the men do love their ninja star hairdos. Don't light a match around these stores

Store #3 - Food / Ingredients: The food court style food actually looked really good. Authentic obviously, but it looked really tasty. Even various meat hanging in store windows! I'll also add the Bubble Tea stores into this category. Buy 2 pairs of socks and get a bubble tea... these places were EVERYWHERE, and everyone in the mall walking had one. Various cooking ingredients were in a lot of places. In a game of name that ingredient I would have failed miserably. I recognized a few mushrooms, but there were jars and jars of other items that I couldn't tell you if it went with appetizer, main course, dessert of if they were just put out to see if any white people bought them as a joke.

Store #4 - Pimp My Asian. Okay now we're into the fun racist stuff. Rogers, Rogers Wireless, Bell, Bell Mobility, Fido, Telus, not to mention various accessory and hardware stores selling Cell Phones by the weekly contract. The new Samsung i5billionxtwentyR is in stock, I got to have one! The Cell Phone market amongst these people is OUT OF CONTROL. The stores mentioned above were all there - and most of them all there in 4 or 5 (no lie) locations. White people love their cell phones, but we're in the stone age as far as new models are concerned. I may as well have the Zack Morris Brick compared to these things. Wait til the iPhone gets into these stores - Unbelievable. And what would an Asian mall be without Car accessories. Spinning Rims, neon lights, Garbage can sized exhausts - walk into "Rice Rockets R Us" and ask for Charlie... he'll hook you up. Or of course you can try Phung at "Civic's? Damn near Honda'd!" but his prices seemed high.

Store #5 - Bootleg DVDs. There were more Bootleg DVD stores in this mall than Chins, Wangs, and random deadends combined! Of course the morality behind such a store is questionable at best. But that didn't stop us from buying a few. 10 movies (cough still in theater) for $32 Doll'a. Our list consists of:

Transformers
Sicko
Georgia Rule
Liscence to Wed
Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Fantastic 4 - Silver Surfer
Reign over Me
Blades of Glory
Hostel 2
Mr. Brooks
(Were going to buy Harry Potter, but since it came out only 2 days previously apparently the quality wasn't so good. I can picture Kramer taping it in the movie theater... no thanks)

So, from Saturday night until today Liz and I attended our very own "Asian Drive-In". We watched PotC3, Blades of Glory, Georgia Rule, Liscence to Wed & Sicko this weekend. All worked, and all were 7/10+ quality for still in theater movies. Sicko was a 9. Couple that with Ratatouille and I'm done with movies for a while.

Potc3 = 5/10 the worst one of the 3 by a landslide.

Blades of Glory = 5/10 - chuckled in spots, but should have been better

Georgia Rule = 2/10 - I was playing Nintendo on the computer all movie, but Lohan did make me look up a few times as every now and then she did something so whorey that I had to take note. Shocking she was cast in this role. Don't watch this movie with a daughter - guessing they don't mention that to you on the cover. PG13 - yeah if your 13 year old's a HOOKER!

Liscence to Wed - Honestly I was still in Nintendo mode, so got about 30 minutes in before sleeping.

Sicko 10/10 - Excellent! Proud to be Canadian, wondering when the US will get their heads out of their asses. As far as Moore's biased movies go, this is pretty even keel in the sense he's just bashing health care. No sides of the coin regarding that issue, unlike for example Gun Control.

So that was our weekend in a nutshell. Lots of KM's on the car for not really going anywhere. Lots of movies which was fun. Now it's time to take full advantage of our Summer weekend plans for the next couple months.

Addicting Game Alert: Nintendo

2007-07-12T16:55:00.000-04:00

Well, forget about everything else I've shown you, this is the link to end all links.

Click the alphabet on the top to find the game of your choice. Z & X are the A/B Buttons.

Nintendo

Enjoy.

Cleaning House is Garbage

2007-07-08T22:35:00.000-04:00

It's really something actually looking back at our very productive house cleaning weekend; we have a lot of crap.

Friday night was the Garage. Everything out of the garage into the driveway, 90% of things into trash bags, and 10% back into the garage, in a much more organized fashion. The garage was also where the majority of my uninteresting "beer bottle collection" was stored - translation: lots of empties. Being a beer rep had it's perks, this wasn't one of them! I actually ended up popping the tops off of about 3 cases of beer and began pouring them onto the lawn just to collect the empties. Before you go thinking I'm completely insane, they were far, FAR, beyond skunky. Although from an outsider you'd have to assume I was a cop busting a bunch of 14 year olds for underage drinking and as punishment made them watch as I ruined their evening.

Did you do the math by the way? My over / under for returns was set at $35, aka 350 individual bottles of beer, or more than 14! cases of beer. It took two trips, and a lot of bottles were actually simply thrown into the garbage bags, and I technically still have 1 case to bring back to the beer store, but all told the answer was an astounding over: just over $44.00.

Saturday was more of the same. Kitchen, bedroom, basement, living room - if it hasn't been used, touched, looked at, or considered in a month, it's on it's way to the dump. All told I think we had 20-25ish "giant" and "contractor" sized garbage bags in our newly cleaned garage. I hired some dude off craigslist to come pick everything up on Sunday and haul it all away for us. Actually, I was more than pleased with the price I paid for such a service. I had heard some of the big junk guys can be $300-$400 for the amount of garbage we had we paid far less than half of that!

Liz and I are far from pack rats. I'm not certain where that amount of trash actually came from? Just goes to show you what can collect over a year or so if you're not extra careful. I'm guessing we'll be more careful once we actually own the space we're stashing stuff - this will act as a nice lesson moving forward, I hope. Still plenty to dispose of before we move, but this weekend was a nice start.

Still managed to squeeze in a night at our fav Sushi restaurant, a drive-in Saturday night (Knocked-Up & Die Hard), and a baseball game on Sunday! So although it was a work filled weekend, we managed to still have some fun - although I'd be lying if I wasn't looking forward to the next several weekends compared to this one!

Later.

Cleaning House

2007-07-06T11:00:00.000-04:00

It's still a ways off before we move, but it's becoming less "of a ways off". And being summer, very few weekends exist where you can accomplish things around the house. This weekend will be one of those rare weekends. The Goal; Basement & Garage clear-out + miscellaneous garbage collecting. Even have a junk removal service coming over Sunday. So if it's not bolted down, or currently in use, OR going to be sold on Craigslist.org next week it's going in a garbage bag off to some landfill never to be seen again.

I'm gonna need a lot of garbage bags. That, and the over under on money earned from the beer store this weekend from returns is $35.00

Enjoy your weekend - I'll be rooting around in garbage.

Addicting Game Alert: Paper Basketball

2007-07-05T12:56:00.003-04:00

This game is Great!

Best so far is 5595
Paper Basketball

Addicting Game Alert: More Bloons

2007-07-04T09:09:00.000-04:00

Players Pack Addition.

Appears as though these levels were designed by those with even more free time than you. And as a warning; if you even remotely had difficultly with one of the first two Bloons, don't bother it's TOUGH!

Bloons Players Pack

Reminder:

2007-06-28T10:18:00.001-04:00

MI-NI Wheats, Wheats, Wheats...

Happy Canada Day - Early

2007-06-26T12:56:00.000-04:00

Canada Day is always a great weekend. Normally something fun is planned; Camping, Cottage, Partying, Outdoors & of course the extended weekend! It's the first long weekend of the year where the weather is guaranteed to cooperate for the most part, and the weather is so nice in late June that being inside at work is finally starting to get to you. So, once again I'm going to take full advantage. I'm heading down to the Cottage this year with several goals, all of which fit the bill.

- Eat awesome food, especially some hot off the BBQ
- Drink lots of wabblies, Caesars, Brew & Vino are on tap.
- Improve my Bocce Ball skills. I'm pretty much able to compete in most things, but the winners circle in Bocce for the most part has eluded me. Off Road Bocce on the other hand, forget about it, that I can do, but the more standard variation is tough.
- Poker: If you can believe it I haven't actually played a variation of Poker in a very very long time. My Parents and friends this weekend will enjoy some shuffle up and deal moments. Perhaps on the Patio enjoying some of the other points above.
- Games: In general, some Sequence, Euchre, Spades, Clue, Rack-o, and of course bocce and poker as mentioned. I don't expect to squeeze them all in, but any of them would be a blast.
- Camp Fire: Ooh yeah. Maybe even some marshmallows.
- Relaxing: After my last post some R&R without chugging around the bases is part of the weekend prescription

The one point missing from above is something that I am looking forward to the most. I would actually currently call it a growing hobby of mine, and I fully intend to grow this hobby pretty much into an obsession the same way some guys get crazy about golf, this will be my vice; Fishing.

Bass Season opens on the 4th Saturday of June, and last weekend was it. Meaning this weekend will be filled with feeding my addiction. I have a very difficult time getting up in the morning for most anything; work, school, and even to a lesser degree golf. But I'll tell you what, 5am can't come soon enough when it's time to jump in the boat and hit the water. It will not be long into 2008 before I buy my very own boat/trailer, but for now my Dad has a very serviceable boat and 9.9hph that will get me to those bucket mouths and fill my stringer. Funny thing is, I don't much care to eat fish, and would say I'm 100% catch and release - maybe that will change over the next few years as well, but for now, I'm looking forward to the thrill of the hunt. I can't wait!!!

Have a wonderful Canada Day to all out there.

8 Games - 5 Days

2007-06-25T22:17:00.000-04:00

8 Softball Games in the past 5 days: 2 Thursday, 1 Friday, 2 Saturday, 2 Sunday & 1 Monday, all add up to a lot of baseball. I loved it all. I actually wish it had of been 9 total, as the second one on Sunday was the Semi Final game of a tournament, a loss rather than advancing to the finals. Overall 5-3... and one of them, Mondays, was a "Lets Try not to get mercied" affair versus perennial Canadian National Co-Ed contenders. I must say we more than accomplished that goal; still a loss, but a positive loss. I'm sore, tired and could use a break... but not for too long, I play again Thursday.

Discuss:

2007-06-21T09:36:00.000-04:00

Would you live within a 5 mile radius (8.05KM) for One Hundred Million Dollars? That's 8 Zero's!

Notes:
5 Mile Radius equals 78 square miles of area.
10 Mile Diameter or an entirety of 31.4 circumference.

You can choose your 78 square miles anywhere in the world.

I think the first reaction is "where do I sign", but contemplating just how small of a "cell" that would be beings to alter peoples decisions. A lot of people would like to travel, or even if they could never afford it in life, like to dream of perhaps traveling. If that's the one thing you dream of, then perhaps you don't do it. What good is a fast car if you can only go so far in one direction? Of course you can bring your family and friends down for visits, but then they're revolving around you and your restricted area. Think of the other pro's and con's and let me know.

Personally, I do it in a heartbeat. I'm undecided of my exact 'cell' location, but am thinking somewhere beachy. The first couple years would be spent altering my cell with various needs / entertainment locations & items, but I think eventually it would be perfect. My rationale is I probably will never be able to afford to travel the world anyway, so why not go ahead and cross the other 50 things on my "I Wish" list.

PS - Liz isn't coming with... she says no.

I'd be funnier if I did...

2007-06-20T14:54:00.000-04:00

$5.26 cents change from my Walmart purchase today. The $5 bill goes back into my wallet. The penny goes into my "throw at cars I'm mad at pile" in my cars cup holder, but the quarter goes into gum ball machines in the Walmart lobby. Kickass! Whoa - Jawbreakers? I thought to myself, I haven't seen those since "outdoor recess" was part of my daily itinerary. Don't mind if I do.

After relocating the quarter, I bent down to toddler level to purchase this tooth rotting piece of gold. Anyway I almost put the quarter in the wrong machine and thus walked out of there sucking on a "Super Duper Boucey Ball"... like I said, I'd be funnier if I did. Although I'm pretty sure 5/5 Dentists would agree that would have been a better idea.

Side Note: $5,000,000 lawsuit Idea.

Just To Ruin Your Day:

2007-06-20T14:24:00.000-04:00

My little story takes place at a tropical villa

I fell in love with a flavour, yes it was vanilla

Mini.......wheats wheats wheats I wanted vanilla for so long

Mini wheats wheats wheats its high in fiber you can't go wrong

Vanilla flavour mixed with wheat put it together it cant be beat

Vanilla flavour mixed with wheat tastes so good, what a treat.

New vanilla mini wheats cereal

tastes so good good good.

Picture Quiz Update:

2007-06-18T21:55:00.000-04:00

Threw some hints down to help out - if anyone cares of course.

Enjoy

Addicting Game Alert 5: BLOONS

2007-06-17T22:57:00.000-04:00

Been a while for one of these, so waste away your Monday with BLOONS and of course once you're done BLOONS 2. If you get totally stuck, let me know. Otherwise, pop away.

Enjoy.

SW:

2007-06-17T22:42:00.000-04:00

Do You Own A Honey Thingy?

I watched a pretty retarded Honey Comb commercial tonight, and it occurred to me, that you would have to eat a fuckload of honey to require one of these. And even if you did eat said fuckload, how much more difficult is a plain knife or spoon? Common. So I've decided if you a) own or b) actually use one of these things: I hate you.

New Game Pictures:

2007-06-15T13:53:00.000-04:00

Game 1: Person - Easy

HINT
Female and yes that second picture is Tori Spelling

Game 2 - Person - Medium
HINT
Male Athlete Very Famous - You need to know who that 3rd Picture is

Game 3: Person - Very Hard - Hint: Sports Star
HINT
The Boys name in the second pitcher is: Rusty, although that doesn't matter, the other character does
There are better pictures to use for "field of dreams" must have something to do with actors or characters shown.

Game 4: Movie - Medium Hard
HINT
What is Tom Cruise Saying in that picture?
The Movie is 4 Words long total.

Hard Ball

2007-06-11T16:24:00.000-04:00

As most of you could probably guess, I actually like stepping to the plate and playing hardball with some people, some of the time - okay most of the time. I'm quite confident I "negotiated" the best deals with the Professional Barter's in the DR, but haven't had much chance to play since. Here's the situation. I have been a Telus customer for about 5 years, if not longer, and over the course of that time have long fulfilled my contract, paid my bill via pre-paid billing each month, and as a thank you I received a $25 3 year anniversary "thanks for being a consumer" credit a ways back, which was a nice touch - but I needed to call in a favour, and it was something initially they did now want to do.

Liz and I are down to cell phones - both of which are mine, one of which work pays for. So when Liz lost my personal cell phone, aka her cellphone, it's been a nightmare getting a hold of Her/us. She's tried calling Telus, but they would only offer her a $200 credit towards a phone, but she would have to sign a 2 year contract. So I went with Option B; Fuck that. Rogers / Bell home phones are still quite expensive for the call me on my cell phone crowd, so I also went with option B. A new cell phone company would DEMAND a contract, so once again, I'm left with Option B. Now what?

This afternoon I called Telus with an offer. Give me a phone or cut off my service. "Sir, we can offer you this excellent deal of a $200 credit towards a new cell phone for only a 2 year contract extension", to which I responded with "No Phone - No Contract - No Deal!". I was transferred... an excellent thing getting passed the initial front gate guards that are Customer Service Representatives. The new guy gave me the same pitch, but added "It's by far our best offer to date for a new cell phone". I responded with, "I can pretty much guarantee I get a similar offer from Rogers or Bell to switch to them if I accept a 2 year contract, or you can hope I don't try and screw you over, steal your phone, then cancel all in an effort to attempt to keep me".

My nice new free no contract phone is arriving in 3-5 Business Days.

For Posts Sakes:

2007-06-08T09:42:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday everyone... or I should say Saturday. Yesterday, Thursday, had a real Friday feel to it, so upon acting in full Friday happy mood, I'm now stuck here on a Saturday - Friday. Perhaps that means Monday will feel like Tuesday, and if that's the case I may jump out my office window. Which I've finally started appreciating, 2 of my 4 walls in my spacious office are windows... however they don't open! How sweet would that be, not so I can jump, but so I can enjoy the early summer breeze. Bah well - I'm pretty sure I will avoid the majority of responsibilities today and surf the net. After all work is what Tuesdays are for.

I've mentioned my "football site" before on this blog. An online community of people like me - basically a big chat room of the same people I've known for 5 years. Fun stuff. Anyway, we've started a forum that's helping consume a lot of my day. We're posting pictures of common items, that when pieced together spell out a famous person's name:

For instance:

Easy - Mickey Mantle

Here's two more for you to try on this lovely Saturday:

EASY:

And one of my contributions: MEDIUM/HARD

Speaking of games, I'm finding myself playing a game perhaps I shouldn't, but am proud of myself I'm awfully good at. It's known to some as "Guess The Drivers Age/Race/Sex". It's not the most politically correct game I've ever played...although perhaps surprising not the worst. Basically, depending on how the automobile acts around you, you guess the age/race/sex of the driver before you get a chance to see them. It's fun, and like I said I'm getting very good at it. For instance, when you see a pick-up truck go from the fast lane to the exit ramp in one foul swoop without signally it's a young white male - bonus points for seeing the red around their neck. If you approach someone in the fast lane going roughly 40KMs faster then them, and they have ZERO idea you're there, or would be shocked if you told them they have various mirrors to check and perhaps avoid these situations, you're probably looking at someone middle aged, of Asian/Mid Eastern decent, and Man or Woman is optional, but I mostly go with woman. I'm floating around 80% accuracy, which considering, puts me as one of the candidates to represent Canada in 2010.

First cottage weekend of the year this Sat-Sun. But similar to last year I think it will be the first of many - here's hoping. Bass Season doesn't open til the last Saturday in June, so I know what my Canada Day long weekend plans consist of, but that means this weekend will be quiet. We have some good friends coming with us, even my deadbeat workaholic Brother is coming, and who's better with a few drinks than that Jabroni. All in All a good weekend to look forward to, which again makes TODAY suck. I suppose showing up at 9:30, getting some coffee, saying some hello's and writing this post until 10:30 helps. I wonder what I can go make for Lunch now.

Later fuckers, have a good weekend.

G.

SNL Skit - Dear Sister

2007-06-05T11:01:00.001-04:00

Okay, so this past weekend was a re-run - but I'm glad it was so I could watch yet another fantastic Digital Short from Andy Samberg.

For Reference, it's a direct spoof from the season finale of "The O.C." I added Spanish subtitles for my Mexican following.

OC CLIP FOR REFERENCE ONLY

SNL "Dear Sister" Sketch

Career For Sale: Update

2007-05-30T12:03:00.000-04:00

So after completing the 3 hour exam in less than an hour, and then fine tooth combing the sum biotch for the next half hour, I couldn't sit around any longer. Filled in all the circles, zipped up my exam into the little plastic baggie they gave us and I was off. But not before giving the entire class that was still franticly writing the exam a solid crook eye.

I tried going through the exam and find the necessary questions it would take for me to fail (You are required to get a 75% or better to pass) and I couldn't do it. Turns out that was another thing I was right about that day. I believe the expression is Flying Colours... 94%.

Yay 4 Me.

SW: Cartoon Theme Songs

2007-05-28T23:12:00.000-04:00

Stumbled across this, thought I would share.

"Pop quiz: when's your Mom's birthday? (Month, day, and year.)

Now, quick, where do the Gummi Bears bounce?"

If you're an average, red-blooded ~~American~~Canadian between the ages of 18 and 30 32, you most likely just answered, “Um, March-ish?," followed by an almost immediate, tuneful “Here and there and everywhere!”

If you don't sing along to about 75 - 80% of the entire countdown, than frankly I don't much care to be your friend any longer. The Cracked commentary is quite humorous as well, worth the read.

Enjoy.

Painful Cartoon Theme Songs

Morbid Analogy: Lost Finale

2007-05-24T11:55:00.000-04:00

WOW. After 'mediocre at best' season finale's of other hit shows this year, last nights "LOST" renewed all faith in the Television version of the block buster with it's supercalafragileisticexpialadocious finale last night. (And yes, that's how you use it in a sentence).

LOST is a lot like the abusive boyfriend you can't get away from. LOST has both physically and mentally abused me this year, actually every year of our relationship. But this year was worse, in fact that I almost added it to the PVR's record and watch later schedule. Friends keep telling me to get away from LOST, and a lot actually despise LOST. I've almost got away once or twice... but every now and then LOST does something wonderful, and totally reminds me why I love ~~him~~ it. And last nights show was the leave work early, flowers, candy, go on a romantic date, great sex and cuddling, proposal (I said yes) night I've been longing for.

My head is still spinning from such a wonderful evening. I hope you enjoyed it as well.

SW: Penguin Rant

2007-05-23T19:41:00.001-04:00

After posting my Summer Reality Bites bit, I realized I had a few angry comments from my readers, and I've left you without my vast knowledge on anything and everything for a while. So here's something to chew on:

Whats the deal with Penguins? March of the Penguins was well made, and really opened my eyes on the struggle that the Emperor Penguin must endure each year in the Arctic (Insert Golf Clap). I'm also one of the 93.7% that upon hearing Morgan Freeman speak (the movies narrator), I stop what I'm doing and listen. I sure hope he's the voice that follows the emergency broadcast system announcement if it were ever not actually a test. Morgan Freeman as Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding would really get that percentage up. What was I saying... oh right, fucking penguins... well not "Fucking Penguins", but fucking {space} PENGUINS!

Like 20 movies since 2005 have either starred or featured the Penguin. Happy Feet? Common the Penguin can't even fly - what kind of a gay bird can't fly? Are there fish that can't swim? Amphibians that don't amphibian? Pigeons that don't shit on my car? Cats that don't sit there and do fuck all? NOPE, there is not! So movie makers make the gay penguin that's right...dance! Oh and Surf in a new movie called "Surfs Up" opening up sometime next week. I'm not sure when the time of the first airing of that movie will be, but my guess is it starts somewhere deep into the 14th minute.

I guess what I'm saying is now is not the ideal time to invest in Penguins.

Summer Television: Reality Bites?

2007-05-23T18:59:00.000-04:00

Tonights episode of Lost pretty much sums up my fall TV schedule. 24, Heroes, Lost, Survivor, ER, CSI and a few others have all finished. But this upcoming summer TV season, unlike most others, I have reason to be excited for weeknight and general downtime PVR time killers. Incase you didn't know...I love my "Reality TV" and Summer is chalked full of it:

Last Comic Standing is a fantastic TV show. About the best elimination (and fairest) of any show that puts it into the publics hands. And these people are FUN-KNEE! I'm glad it's back, it would rank probably in my top 5-6 favourite current shows. And unlike American Idol, this show actually gets better as the "bad people" in the early shows are eliminated.

Hells Kitchen - I got into that last season and really enjoyed it. That crazy chef is one fucked up dude.

Big Brother - Honestly, Big Brother is OKAY at it's best (although LTA will yell at me for saying that) but I tune in quite often and find myself entertained.

On the Lot - just started with last nights premiere. So far so GREAT! Future of this show looks bright too with fantastic guest judges and celebs then again Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg could create the real life Mr. Hankey and turn it into a top 5 show. (Note to self, pitch MB and SS on a show about a piece of talking shit)...speaking of Mark Burnett and crazy pitch ideas Pirate Master starts next week. Mark Burnett, Pirates, 1 million dollar prize... I sure hope Jeff Probst isn't out of a job here, but this will be a hit as well.

Other shows worth taking a peak at

- The Real Wedding Crashers probably has a few more shows left in it. Pretty good prank show

- The Academy is a Police Academy reality show, but without Bobcat it may not fly.

- American Inventor 2. Fun to flip to now and then, not a regular, but not bad.

Other Shows I won't be tuning into:

- The Simple Life 5...Nope! Okay, maybe just too see if anyone in this car wreck gets hurt.

- America's Got Talent - Nope and Nope. And this time, not even to see the car wreck that is "The Hof"

- So you think you can Dance? Nope I don't. Nuff said.

- The Next Best Thing - A Celebrity Impersonator show - It's ABC... they're trying. Here's a celebrity impresonation for them "This is not going to be a 'really big shoe"

So I'll have to keep a keen eye on my PVR recorded level this summer. With Baseball 2 nights a week, and my guess right now school another 2 nights a week, I'll have much less time to watch a lot more TV... Sweet.

For Posts Sakes

2007-05-16T11:38:00.000-04:00

I don't really have anything to say but figured what the hell. Lets see what comes out.

Baseball was canceled last night - our first Men's league game. I was standing at the window in full baseball attire watching the lightning and hail thinking "it's still good"... I was wrong. The only saving grace to my desire to play ball is I have a mixed league game tonight. 2 Days a week now, sweet. The weather is still shit, but I'm much more optimistic than last night. Go Rounders! I get to show off my brand spanking new batting gloves tonight.

I'm getting pretty excited for the Summer, in no particular order

BBQs
Fishing
Golf
Patio lounging
Visiting Our Cottage
August Cottage weekend
Football Drafts
FSA #5
First house!

Going to be good. The last few things take place in August, and although looking forward to the new house is a huge highlight, I can wait. The summer goes by fast enough without wishing it by. Going to be fun.

Sad News: Fez Part 2

2007-05-09T21:06:00.000-04:00

This afternoon in what was inevitable yet still very difficult to comprehend and accept news, our little guy Fez passed on. Liz was at home with him when the time came, but not before one last moment of quality time cuddling on the couch together. Also luckily, just yesterday I had one of those lie in the grass and stare at the clouds moments with him... it's as though Liz and I each knew something was up and the time was drawing ever closer where those moments become only fond memories, so we racked extra up as quickly as possible. He's already greatly missed, and your well wishes dear readers I believe added the extra month of time with the greatest dog ever - so I thank you for them.

I said it in the last post, but it turned out to be very true - and I'm glad; Knowing the countdown was on, as horrible as the news first hit us, was a blessing. Fez visited his family and friends and even ate 3 boxes of treats!, and it made the goodbye process much easier to accept. Today's news is sad, but we've been preparing for this moment, and knowing Fez is no longer suffering in any way is also greatly rewarding.

Taz and Fez, after a pretty extensive "feel out" process (aka hatred) actually became pretty good buddy's the past three weeks. So much so that I think Taz greatly helped out with Fez, almost as much as he did Mom and Dad. Now hopefully Taz will remember how good a dog Fez was, and post terrifying puppy phase become as enjoyable of a family member as the Fezzer was. I bet he will. Litte Tazzy seems to miss his buddy right now too.

Liz and I are holding up pretty well, as good as can be expected, we've had a big head start through the mourning phase. It will be a bit longer of course, but we're already starting to embrace the wonderful memories and good times phase. And we're blessed that in less than 3 short years we have more than a lifetime's worth. Rest In Peace little buddy. GL&T.

Fun Link: 2

2007-05-09T10:47:00.001-04:00

I enjoyed wasting away 13 minutes of work on this bad boy. Ricky Gervais on "Creation"

Ricky Gervais

Fun Link:

2007-05-09T09:09:00.000-04:00

Cool Webpage

A collection Music Concerts, Movies, TV Shows, Stand-up Shows...

Example:

Music

* Alice In Chains MTV Unplugged (1996)
* Children Of Bodom - Tuska 2003 Live
* Cream's Farewell Concert (1969)
* Deep Purple - Machine Head Live 1972
* Doors: Live at the Hollywood Bowl, The (1987)
* Dream Theater - Live at Budokan (2004)
* Iron Maiden Live at Donington 1992
* Jamiroquai Live In London (03-07-2005)
* Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock (1992)
* Jupiter and Beyond Infinite
* Maiden England
* Mario & Zelda Big Band Live
* Megadeth - Live in London 1992
* Metallica: Cunning Stunts (1998)
* Metallica Live at Rock Am Ring 2006
* MTV Icon: Metallica (2003)
* MTV in 1983
* Neil Young in Concert 1971
* Nightwish Live at Raumanmeri 2003
* Nirvana - Live Amsterdam 1991
* Opeth Live in Norway
* Pink Floyd - Live
* Pump up the 90's Party
* Punk Rock Movie, The (1978)
* Queen - Greatest Video Hits
* Queen Live Aid 1985
* Rage Against the Machine live at Rock am Ring 2000
* Red Hot Chili Peppers live at Rock Werchter 2006
* Red Hot Chili Peppers Live at Woodstock 1999
* Red Hot Chili Peppers Live - The Rock Odyssey 2004
* Sonata Arctica - Live At Tavastia
* System of a Down - Whisky a Go Go Show 1997
* Wizard of Oz - Dark Side of the Moon
* Wolfmother on JTV Live
* Yellow Submarine (1968)

Entertainment Shows

* Andy Kaufman: The Midnight Special (1981)
* Bill Hicks - One Night Stand (1991)
* Brian Regan: I Walked on the Moon (2004)
* Dane Cook Comedy Central
* Dane Cook: Insomniac Tour
* Dane Cook: Vicious Circle (2006)
* Dan Nainan at Seattle's Moore Theater
* Eddie Izzard: Definite Article (1996)
* Eddie Murphy Raw (1987)
* Frank Caliendo - Impressions
* George Carlin: Again (1978)
* George Carlin - Back in Town (1996)
* George Carlin: Carlin on Campus (1984)
* George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
* Jeff Dunham - Arguing with Myself (2006)
* Lee Evans: Live in Scotland (1998)
* No Cure for Cancer (1992)
* On Location: George Carlin at USC (1977)
* Pablo Francisco - Bits and Pieces
* Pablo Francisco: Ouch! Live From San Jose
* Ricky Gervais: Animals
* Robert Newman's History of Oil
* Rowan Atkinson Live (1992)
* Russell Peters - Comedy Now!
* Russell Peters - Show Me the Funny
* Steve Bridges as George Bush
* White House Correspondents' Dinner 2006

TV-series & Shows

* Airwolf (1984)
* Da Ali G Show - Episode 06: Belief
* Da Ali G Show - Episode 12: Realness
* Best Bits of Mr. Bean, The (1997)
* Best of Borat
* Brass Eye - Episode 4 - Sex (1997)
* Derren Brown - Waking Dead
* Ghost Hunters
* Gumball 3000: Around the World in 8 Days
* Jackass: Gumball 3000 Rally Special
* Look Around You - Maths (2002)
* Mad TV - Hell Date (Pablo Francisco)
* Mad TV - Terminator 3
* Monty Python's Flying Circus - The Spanish Inquisition (1970)
* Monty Python - The Funniest Joke In The World
* MythBusters - Breaking Glass With Human Voice
* Real Hustle, The - Episode 1 (2006)
* Real Hustle, The (2006)
* SAS Survival Secrets
* Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell (2002)
* Tour of Duty (1987)
* Viva La Bam - Prank Wars
* World's Funniest Commercials (2006)

Other QVC Gems

2007-05-03T10:20:00.000-04:00

My main man J-Rod, the current Wii Boxing Champion (Trust me he better retire on top) sent me these gems to add on to the last folly.

Q:Is it okay to use as carry-on?

Q: If I fall is it certain death?

Q: Don't you think it looks more like a pony than a horse?

I Love My Porno...

2007-05-02T14:23:00.000-04:00

But maybe not as much as this guy.

PS - CFH People - hope you screen better than this.

I Hate Facebook

2007-04-27T16:42:00.000-04:00

But I figure what the hell. Look out world.

PS - Thanks for the positive comments in the last post. I knew it was a good idea ;)

For Sale: My Career Path

2007-04-26T11:11:00.000-04:00

For Sale By Owner

Current Career Path, 5 years old, great foundation and in perfect working order. Very few kilometers and pretty much only summer driven. Owner simply wants a change, there is nothing wrong with this product, just not for me anymore. Taking best offers or unique trades

If you know anyone who's interested let me know. As good as a job as I have now, and have been fortunate enough to have great jobs since exiting 18 years of education, I've grown tiresome of the grind, the 9-5 that I set myself up for from day 1. So I'm getting out, very very slowly.

I have enrolled into the Ontario Real Estate Association and am training to get my Salesperson License. There are 3 phases to the entire program, each with an A/B/C Sub Phase. I took my Phase IA Exam Online last Saturday, and nailed perfect score... (okay I got one question wrong, but you're never gonna know the difference so perfect score it is) Yeah! Phase IB is more Real Estate History and Theory, I plan on taking the 1B Test this weekend, and then leave myself 2-3 weeks to learn phase IC - The beginning of many mathematical training sections. Value Equations, Appraisal Formula's, Mortgage Calculations, Factors, Decimals, Cross Multiplication... and I'm excitied! I've always loved and excelled at math - simply perhaps because in theory it's easy; you're either right or you're wrong. No interpretation. Fun stuff.

Phase II and III are both in-class sections and are going to be very time consuming and difficult, much more so than the 1 Month Phase I Online Portion. I'm going to continue to work while doing the course, then slowly transition into becoming a full time Real Estate Salesperson. At least that's the plan, this is all very new, and am unsure what lies ahead.

I write my Phase 1 Final Exam on May 26th, ~~I'm planning on moving it up to May 19th to avoid being in a classroom the Saturday of a long weekend.~~ (PS Ryan Passes the who's paying attention test!) Wish me luck, stay tuned. Lots more excited / nervous info to follow.

Heroes is Back

2007-04-23T15:29:00.000-04:00

After an uncalled for 2 month hiatus, they're back. And I'm pumped! You missed the first 18 episodes didn't you? I smell DVD Christmas Gifts.

Get this widget!

Sad News: The Fezzer Is Sick

2007-04-20T11:51:00.000-04:00

I'm unsure as of now where this post is going to end up, or how long it will be, or if I will publish it. And I think I will probably write it over the course of a few days, saving drafts as I go along, adding pictures and memories as they come to me, and of course taking time out to regroup as each word will be difficult yet beneficial to write, but the moral of this story is Fez, our 2.5 year old Shih Tzu is sick. Not the good kind of "warm nose" sick unfortunately, the bad kind, the worst kind. Our little guy has been diagnosed with Lymphoma and his timeline is unknown, but I can tell you it's very short.

Liz and I got Fez as a 7 week old Puppy and naming him was not tough - for those that don't know, Liz and I met at Fez Batik, a nightclub in Toronto. So to honor his parents, not the "That 70's Show Guy" his name was to be Fez - and it suits him perfectly. Here are some of the first pictures ever taken of him:

Before going on much further you should know Fez is very much his usual self. He's happy, comfortable and is proving he has far too much gas in his tank then his destination requires. But that attitude will make it much easier for those around him who are obviously devastated with these developments. And I've got to tell you, there are worse ways to make an exit in this world then to know a countdown is on. As an owner of a very young Lhaso Apso who did not survive being hit by a car, this atleast builds in those extra memories you pray for when instances as above take place... Something we have already begun taking advantage of. And I'll be damned if he doesn't get sick of doggie treats by the time I'm done with him!

Sharing the news of losing a family pet is never an easy process either - but I'll tell you something, for a dog that is not even 3 years old this is extra tough. Not because he's not yet 3 years old and far to young for this news (although that is very true and part of the problem), but because in that short amount of time he's made more friends than you'd think possible for a dog. Most dogs don't get invited places, or have people fighting over who gets to babysit them, or if they do they don't get invited back or volunteer again. But Fez is different then most dogs I find in that way. He's quiet, well behaved, incredibly polite, mostly stays out of the way (the size helps), never begs for food (unless a Bahlieda is around of course) and he generally provides that extra bit of fun and joy that's required now and then that only a dog can exude. After typing that I bet you all were trying to find a way to get Fez to come visit without me coming with - Sorry :)

APRIL 20th, 2007

I took quite a break from writing this post. I was never sure if I was going to post it, but Fez's been such a part of all my friends lives as well it's only fair I do. A lot of you already know, and have even had the opportunity to visit him and give him your well wishes and pass along your prayers - thanks. Since my last paragraph:

TAZ

TAZ has been a big help for a number of reasons. As much as Fez hates the idea of a new dog around the house, Fez has been far more active being chased by TAZ, and even his anger has turned to positive energy, which has been great for him, and us. Also, we figured it would only be a huge bonus if our new little guy got the chance to meet the best damn dog that has ever existed. Perhaps some of Fez's good qualities will rub off on Taz, perhaps some words of wisdom from one to the next. Of course it also keeps Mom and Dad busy once Fez is no longer around, to hint at a replacement would be silly because the Fezzer can't be replaced, but someone else to pass our love onto is a good idea, afterall we had 10 more years of Fez love stored up that we've tried to pack into this 2 weeks, but there is still much more left over.

FEZ

Up to now, Fez has been on the good side of the disease. A little tired, a few minor changes in attitude, but he's given it a pretty good go. The past few days his Lymph nodes in his neck have drastically grown - the steroids have perhaps stopped working. Last night, it appeared he was having difficulty breathing because of this. The first sign official sign that Fez may not be happy. And the first official time I've began to consider the alternatives.

This morning he appeared to be breathing much better, but perhaps tired from lack of sleep he's more lethargic. I'll keep a close eye on him over the weekend, up the steroid dose to attempt to improve the breathing, but I think it's time to finally admit to ourselves that our little guy is sick.

I'll tell you though, doing the rounds of saying goodbye, getting special treatment for a few weeks, seems like the right way to do it. Of course Fez would't have done it another way.

SNL Skit - Dear Sister

2007-04-19T09:21:00.000-04:00

PREFACE - This post was created a few hours before the VT Shootings. So I didn't post it and it's not out of date but the references are. It seems to be funny again.

Enjoy.

Okay, so this past weekend was a re-run - but I'm glad it was so I could watch yet another fantastic Digital Short from Andy Samberg.

For Reference, it's a direct spoof from the season finale of "The O.C." I added Spanish subtitles for my Mexican following.

OC CLIP FOR REFERENCE ONLY

SNL "Dear Sister" Sketch

My Name Is:

2007-04-18T09:19:00.001-04:00

NAME ME... GIVE ME A NAME...YOU MUST GIVE ME A NAME... HURRRY!!! ... "MOON CHILD"!!!

If you don't get that reference, please stop visiting my blog for let's say... 3 weeks.

Anyway, as for the name of the new puppy, your suggestions were appreciated, some were seriously considered. Spanky not so much.

A wise lady once said that the name will come to you once you see the personality. And in this case that couldn't be more true. This dog, so far anyway, is the Anti-Fez. Now a lot of that can be chalked up to him being a little bastard puppy who's just getting use to life as a family pet, and I'm sure Fez was a handful too, but we just forgot how much terror a young dog can create. So I kept looking for little bastard names :) I was looking up names for demons, devils, and even villains were on my list of wishful names (There are a lot of uncool Villain names out there, although I was partial to Gargamel). But I didn't really find any I liked or that suited. From the suggestions I liked the name Gizmo, every person should have one pet named Gizmo once in their lives. And it kinda suited the whole tick this dog off and he turns into an evil Gremlin mentality I was going for, but the name itself should be reserved for well behaved good animals... not this one. So I traced back the breed of Gizmo, did you know Gizmo is a Mogwai? But the name Mogwai is well, worse than Gargamel. So, one last look for "Devil" and my search was over.

Tasmanian Devil - A.K.A. - "TAZ"

Liz & Greg: Proud Parents

2007-04-13T11:50:00.000-04:00

Liz and I welcomed our second very cute child into the world with the addition of a miniature Shi-Tzu puppy, 8 weeks old, 4lbs. Unlike the Fezzer, this guy will only reach 7-8 lbs. Fez has had 8 lbs in hair in the past, so expect a mini-me version.

As cute as he is, he remains nameless. I need your help. I am taking suggestions:

Hot Chicks Draft Winning Signature

2007-04-12T15:31:00.000-04:00

...and you thought I was all finished with this topic. My bragging rights have been completed. Someone felt creating me this was better than posting a Hairy Rosie for a week. Probably a smart move.

My Piece of Shit - Part Duex

2007-04-12T15:11:00.000-04:00

Well, just got "The Phone Call", and to be honest not as bad as it could have been.

Option 1 - I need a cooling fan. This model computer goes through cooling fans like the hamburgler goes through bars of soap - it's inasne! So that's a quick $28. On top of that $28, I need a new AC Adapter - the good news, it's only $72. What happened to the $199.99 the front desk jockey told me I would need to pay. Don't care, thats good news. Now to the main problem, the AC contact has been disconnected from my muth'a board. Hmm, wonder if thats why the connection was loose and I almost killed my family and neighbors... Piece of shit. So to solder that back into place will be 2 hours of work by some sort of licensed Heart Surgeon / Lawyer / Electrician combo at $80+ an hour.

Grand Total Option 1: $260.00

Option 2 - Drop it off of a tall building and buy a new computer. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the exact specifics of this option, but it may as well of been. New Motherboard, new fan, new car smell, it's not worth it when you can buy computers in vending machines nowadays.

So that's that, now get back to work.

My Piece of Shit...

2007-04-11T12:18:00.000-04:00

This Is My Computer:

It's a Toshiba Satellite A70 Laptop and it's a piece of shit. Even though it's a piece of shit it tends to do the job. Actually other than the little inconveniences you forget you've got accustomed to it pretty much does everything I want it to. But it's still a piece of shit.

- Battery Life when not plugged in...Less than 20 minutes.

- Time it takes to get the battery to work when plugging it in and fiddling with the cord... up to 5 minutes.

- Random overheats and untimely shutdowns - 4-5 time a week.

- Sparks and smoke and nearly burning my house down - Twice in 24 hours.

This COULD have been my computer if I was not home

This COULD have been my house if I was not home

So, my piece of shit Toshiba Satellite A70 is in "the shop". I'm trying to figure out if there is more wrong with my computer than just needing a new battery, cause why waste $199.99 for a new battery just to burn my house down? Hell I can do that for a lot cheaper than that. Side note: 199.99 for a battery also seems quite excessive...pieces of shit.

My piece of shit Toshiba Satellite A70 also came with a piece of shit warrantee, or atleast Toshiba wishes not to replace their piece of shit arsonist machine free of charge. So the service call is another $80...shit, - but this way I may get to say stick the new piece of shit battery up your shit piecer and put the $199.99 towards a new computer if there is more wrong. And as you can imagine, it will not be a piece of shit Toshiba.

Anyway, so that's that story. I know I know, it was a piece of shit.

Back To Back Champion

2007-04-09T10:16:00.002-04:00

IT
IS
OVER!

My squad simply did what it needed to do in the playoffs, win. With a Final Score of 22-17, my closest battle yet, my five femme fatales took home the title. Petra and Keira join me as Back to Back champions, and what turned out to be by the critics my most controversial pick, Scarlett Johansson, wins for the first time. For the second straight year, and what I think is a major key to victory, I've also drafted the "Rookie of The Year" in (Last Year: Alessandra Ambrosio). One of the founders of Pigskin Addiction, The "Head Hog" also crowned Alina the winner of the inaugural "Golden Spanky" Award. Which pretty much needs no further explanation.

All that time wasted at work, all that time spent "researching" is all worth it. It's probably the same feeling Olympic Athletes get when they win the gold - or atleast I assume so. Now for my prize - the Back To Back bragging Rights will continue on forever, but as punishment, the 15 Losers of this tourney now have to wear this badge of honor:

It was fun, hope you enjoyed the ride.

The Finals

2007-04-06T01:37:00.000-04:00

Well another easy round, my squad won 27-10. One year after winning, I'm in the finals set to repeat. Problem is, people don't want that to happen. The first vote against me, "if nothing else, I don't wan't you to repeat"... seems guys will be guys. But I have faith. My opponent, The Eastern Champ: Heidi Klum, Keeley Hazell, Brooke Burke, Kelly Brook, Leanna Tweeden.

Final Four - Western Finals

2007-04-04T09:54:00.000-04:00

Almost as surprised as Mr. H, but far from as disappointed, my squad SAILED into the final Four. Check your brackets people and put a check beside my name if you had me here. I now take on: Angelina Jolie, Grace Park, Jamie Bergman, Nadine Velazquez, Diora Baird.

Early voting has me up 10-6.

Elite Eight

2007-04-01T23:19:00.000-04:00

Scarlett, Petra, Alina, Eva (drafted solely based on incredible 4th round value) & Keira formed quite the team in round 1, the round of 16. I sailed through the round with a convincing 27-11 winning score. I now find myself in the Conference Semi's, where after 1 day of voting, against what I see as my toughest competition in the entire Conference, dominating this match-up as well: Currently leading 15-3.

My Current Opponent:
Adriana Lima, Ali Landry, Katherine Heigl, Alyssa Milano & Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Barring a meltdown, looks like 1 year after winning the tournament, I find myself back in the final 4.

Pop Quiz Asshole...continued

2007-03-30T13:06:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you've been on the edge of your seat waiting for this post, well sorry in advance because it's not THAT good of a cliffhanger. So I'll get right down to it:

Reason number one was so you can improve your vision of people, places or things, but in contrast, like a lighthouse (Ah...it all comes together) you can emit light so others can improve their vision of YOU.

#2) Improve your visibility to others around you, to let them know where exactly you are in non ideal lighting conditions.

Thanks for the science class Greg, what's your point? Shut up dick. Here's my point:

My Drive to work on Monday and Tuesday of this week was some of the worse driving conditions possible for this time of year. Monday was incredibly foggy, like maybe 10 feet of viability. Tuesday was torrential downpour that led to massive thunderstorms. Both days were dark, and were far from ideal lighting conditions. Yet an astronomical amount (50%) of drivers in their cars thought that their daytime running lights were sufficient enough for them to see what lies ahead of them. Which, shit, maybe it was. But guess what Daytime running lights don't do?... turn your lights on. So, in these conditions your invisible to all those people who are driving BEHIND you - and since you're driving like a little bitch perhaps you should warn those people where you are so they don't slam into your "Oh my god it's raining" slow ass!

It's simple, and for some reason Car Manufactures haven't made it so your lights are on when your cars on, and their off when it's not (No more oops I left my lights on stories). But that isn't the case, so unless it's bloody gorgeous, where you know you better put on SPF 15 just to leave the house, fine, drive with your daytime running lights. But if there is a cloud in the sky, that may cast a shadow that even remotley makes it difficult to see you, or of course it's weather like Monday or Tuesday and you just don't do it...I hope a Transport slams into the back of you, spins you into the ditch and continues on his way... And of course the other idiots wouldn't see you and help because they're not driving with their lights on either. And I sure as fuck ain't stopp'n.

/rant

My Final 3 Picks err Ladies

2007-03-29T08:57:00.000-04:00

3.02 - Alina Vacariu

4.15 - Eva Mendes

5.02 - Keira Knightley

The Playoffs have started, and I drew the team that had the first overall pick - Jessica Alba. His team is missing some notoriety after that though and it will cost him. After 16 Votes I lead 11-5

WARNING - Entering A Tracker Free Site

2007-03-28T13:37:00.000-04:00

The management at Cyberspace has decided to make this a tracker free site until further notice. Every blog I regularly visit now has a tracker plugged into it, and as much as I enjoyed visiting those sites multiple times a day to see if it was updated with new life learnings, comical banter, or comments, or more simply to kill 3-4 minutes of work - I have stopped doing so. Why? I don't know actually, maybe I liked lurking in the shadows more than being watched, watch you. As far as I can tell I knew you were all visiting my site, and me yours, and blogs have always made for great in person discussions when we meet up proving our loyalty. For the week I had my tracker it was nice to confirm it (Thanks for stopping by BTW!), but the novelty has worn off. It was even interesting to see that a few people from Portugal, France and Australia visited my blog during that time... but I don't know who they are and my intention isn't to entertain or update those people, and for those venting posts where it's nice to just write, I don't need to have anyone read it, or atleast prove it.

Do I want you to take yours down? Maybe a little part of me does, but I'm okay with it, at very least get the same week long learnings mine gave me. I do ask you post at minimum a 1/5 ratio of checking your stats however, after all, if you have time to check those... But perhaps me visiting less is a good thing or perhaps eventually I'll realize I throughly do enjoy watching you, or at very least the anticipation of catching a glimpse of a new post, even if you can see me (sorry for the continuous dirty old man references). Maybe these will encourage more comments, and I hope it does. That is a good thing.

This post is not a direct response to SnH's post about having one - atleast she told us she was watching us. I sure didn't tell you and for that I apologize. And I'm in no position to tell you how to run your blog, only posting my personal reaction to these trackers - personally I'm a little surprised at how my reaction to this experiment turned out. Anyway, stop by Cyberspace when ever you please as often as you please. But I would ask since I've confirmed you do in fact visit, some several times a day, to share your comments more often, even if it's just to say hi or that you liked/dislike the post.

Cheerio

Random Movie Quote

2007-03-27T14:00:00.000-04:00

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...
And I'm all out of bubblegum!"
- Roddy Piper as Nada in "They Live" (1988).

I just had someone quote me this apparently famous movie line and let me tell you I'm very regretful I'm just hearing it now for the first time. So to pass along the favour and this gem enjoy the following clip:

And no, this has nothing to do with the last post.

EDIT - Mr. H pointed out to me that this line is somewhat more familiar than originally thought. It seems Richard Linklater was a Roddy Piper fan, in his slightly more famous 1993 "Dazed and Confused" it would appear he makes tough guy Clint utter a very similar line that reads:

CLINT: I only came here to do two things,
kick some ass and drink some beer.
[glances over his shoulder]
Looks like we're almost outta beer.

Pop Quiz Asshole

2007-03-27T09:12:00.000-04:00

...Shoot The Hostage

Here is a relatively simple question to pose before I get to my main post about this topic sometime in the near future.

There are two main functions of artificial light, name them: (I'll spot you one)

1) To improve your vision of people, places and things in non ideal conditions

2)*

* Here's a hint

Are You Smarter Than A Grape?

2007-03-22T20:59:00.000-04:00

Some US Military Bimbo on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, just uttered the phrase, on national television mind you..."Well...North America is a Country". She won $300,000.

She quit the game on 1st Grade World Geography. The question was "Which Continent is also a Country".

Even stupider was her lifeline remaining, that if she guessed wrong, she could have guessed a colour or a number for Christs sakes, the 5th grade helper would have bailed her out, giving her an additional $200,000 and a chance to double the $500K to $1,000,000 in the bonus round.

Every now and then you need to be reminded just how stupid some people are, and just how unfair it can be when these morons win that much money. Here's hoping she doesn't harm the world any further and multiply.

Oh, and in case you were wondering; Australia.

I'm Rich! w/ Commentary

2007-03-22T10:00:00.000-04:00

Bri's post, and my boredom have lead me to think this would be much more enjoyable to read if I were to share my thoughts as we go along. Shall we:

DR MARK WHITE
(ooooh...a doctor, better listen up)

BANK OF AFRICA
(I've heard of Africa...seems strange to have an entire Continent governing bank, but hey why would a doctor lie )

BURKINA FASO
OUAGADOUGOU_BURKINA FASO
(looks like authentic African writing to me, a click or two would have been nice )

DEAR FRIEND,
(Name's "Greg" fuckstick, it's probably written somewhere on the imaginary files on your imaginary desk in your made up bank)

I KNOW THAT THIS MAIL WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE. I AM THE BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER IN BANK OF AFRICA BURKINA FASO. I HOPED THAT YOU WILL NOT EXPOSE OR BETRAY THIS TRUST AND CONFIDENT THAT I AM ABOUT TO REPOSE ON YOU FOR THE MUTUAL BENEFIT OF OUR BOTH FAMILIES.

(All CAPS? WOW I'M REALLY INTERESTED NOW! And don't worry you contacted me in the safest most secure way to my hotmail account, why would I betray that sanctity?)

WE NEED YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF $22.5MILLION IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR ACCOUNT. THE MONEY HAS BEEN DORMANT FOR YEARS IN OUR BANK HERE WITHOUT ANY BODY COMING FOR IT.

(URGENT? Well thank the holy sweet grail this didn't get caught by my spam protector)

WE WANT TO RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEAREST PERSON TO OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER(THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT)WHO DIED A LONG WITH HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN IN AN AIR CRASH SINCE JULLY 2002.

(JULLY? As in Peanut Butter and Jully? Anyway, I wonder which multi-millionaire Uncle of mine that traveled to Africa in 2002 he would be talking about? Real head scratcher)

WE DON'T WANT THE MONEY TO GO INTO OUR BANK TREASURY AS AN ABANDONED FUND. SO THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU, SO THAT WE WILL CAN RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEAREST PERSON TO THE DECEASED CUSTOMER. PLEASE WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO KEEP THIS PROPOSAL AS A TOP SECRET AND DELETE IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.

(Top Secret? Would it be okay if I told my family my Uncle is dead?)

UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL SEND YOU FULL DETAILS ON HOW THE BUSINESS WILL BE EXECUTED AND ALSO NOTE THAT YOU WILL HAVE 30% OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED SUM IF YOU AGREE TO TRANSACT THE BUSINESS WITH ME, 10 % WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR EXPENSES INCURRED DURING THE BUSINESS, I WILL NOT FAIL TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS HITCH FREE AND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR.

(How the hell are you going to ring up 2.5 million dollars in expenses in Africa sending me a wire transfer. What is happening to the other 60% you slimy bastard...I'm starting to think you're not even a real doctor. )

I EXPECT THAT YOUR REPLY FOR MORE DETAILS IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER.

YOURS FAITHFULLY
DR MARK WHITE

(Dear Dr. Mark,

Well the caps lock got me interested and the poor grammar pushed me over the top. I'm curious as to what is going to happen with the extra 60% and who benefits from the interest you've accumulated on 22.5 million since 2002, but paying you 2.5 million for contacting me seems fair. On second thought Mark, may I call you Mark?, donate the money, all of it including your commission and interest to an Aids/Africa foundation near by, I'm sure the "BANK OF AFRICA" knows of one, my uncle would have wanted it that way. Just be sure to email me my tax credit.

Your's Not so faithfully, "Friend")

Result: Zero Points, sort of:

2007-03-21T23:05:00.000-04:00

13 months ago, I got a speeding ticket - technically my first ever. Did you guess what possible situation would make me of all people want zero points instead of 3 or 4? If you guessed because points against my driving record due to a parking ticket is bad, well then you're a fucking liar. But that's beside the point, and today was decision day...

For those that have ever driven with me, you'll probably be surprised to find out that I've only ever received this one speeding ticket. There was that time in High School where I got pinned going 130+ in an 80 nearing dusk on good old Carrying Place Road... but when my I pulled into a nearby golf course parking lot as the cop finally caught me, I told the officer a friend and I had to squeeze in a quick nine. He, luckily a golfer, more than understood and let me off with a warning. I had no intention of golfing and would have had to "rent" clubs if he actually searched my car - but it worked like a charm. After waiting 5-10 minutes in the parking lot for the Cop to disappear, I decided to stick to my plan of not golfing and was off again. Since then, I've been pushing the envelope with my need for speed. Figuring I was +1, I owed one back.

I made it nearly another 10 years, including 2 years where I had a company car with a company gas card. And if you ever drove in that van with me, you'll know the only thing faster than my speed was my amazing ability to honk at someone who irritated me for whatever stupid thing they were doing at the time as I passed them. That was until the week after i returned that company van driving our old sunfire and was returning from visiting my sick mother - in a very rare, take my time, no need to rush ride home. Gerrard East, between Parliament and Carlaw is one of the dirtiest stretches of Toronto - good old Regant Park, where apparently the Speed Limit is 40. To be honest I can't believe 40 actually exists anymore anywhere, but this is one of those places where the government forces you to drive slow - perhaps to take in the glorious view of all their rent controlled, welfare receiving upstanding citizens. Anyway, this is also where Mr. Wiggum set up his speed trap. And although I was being passed at the time of the ticket by another driver, and the other driver thought it was him who deserved the ticket and also pulled over (I agreed it should have been him) it was my license plate on the yellow slip when all was said and done. Total Damage 72 in a 40... Ha, I parallel park at 72...brutal. But apparently nearly doubling the speed limit is worth close to $300 and 4 demerit points.

So I went home, wrote a check and that was that...

Yeah right. I was quickly on the phone with a friend of mine who as a profession fights traffic tickets - sweet. He was probably wondering why I wanted to bring him out for a few beers, but he came along without much of a fight. 13 Months ago he entered my ticket into the system and I was queued in line for trial. 13 Months have gone by, and today was trial day.

I didn't actually attend the trial - my people were handling it for me - but it went quickly, and interestingly good & bad. The defense began arguing my case, talked about whatever it is they talk about, blamed some crap on the "system" that it's been 13 months yadda yadda, and before he was finished, the Judge agreed. He dismissed my ticket, and I won the case. Yeah!!! Oh shit wait...

You see if this was the judge that presided over the OJ case, the juice would be in jail. But thanks to equal hearings, both sides of the system must be heard - enter the ill fitting glove. Or to clear up my analogy a little better for you when my case was dismissed, the prosecution was a little miffed that they were not heard from. And apparently my friend, and the "crown" had some heated words as an appeal was promised to be filed. Damn.

Gee Greg, this post is getting a little long, why don't you wrap it up? Hey, why don't you get back to work you son of a bitch and stop worrying about the length of my posts!

Anyway here's the details going forward. The appeal hearing will take roughly another 8-10 months to be heard. And as you can imagine, the appeal will be won by Obi Wan Matlock who's worried about his win/loss ratio. So in 10 months from now, when D.A. Ben wins his appeal they will set a new trial date to rehear my case. And assuming that is another 8-10 months,with some quick arithmetic, carry the one it's a total of roughly 30 months to make a final ruling on my need for speed. 30 Months? A bit of a time waster, but with that process comes some good news. You see, it's law in this fine country of ours that a traffic infraction may only appear on your permanent record for a total of 2 years...or 24 months. And for some unknown reason those 24 months start on the date of ticket issue, NOT the date of ticket conviction. So even if I lose my case - it doesn't matter, at least to me. I'm scott free, no fine, no points, no fuss, no muss. The system works!

Look out world, I'm now +2.

3 Points, 4 Points or Zero

2007-03-21T09:15:00.001-04:00

I'm hoping for zero. I'll let you know later today.

Stalkbook

2007-03-21T00:49:00.000-04:00

Not overly funny, but I was in the mood for a Enrique Iglesias spoof, and a good old Facebook Bashing.

Hot Chicks Draft: Round 2 Selection

2007-03-20T15:08:00.000-04:00

Ms. Petra Nemcova

Last years winning team Captain joins my squad once again. Not much not to love about this stunningly gorgeous, yet very cute, geek loving, tsunami surviving goddess.

Hot Chicks Draft 2007 - Update

2007-03-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

The most controversial pick of the first 9 was in fact, Ms. Johansson. Roughly 8/10 vastly approved of the pick, but those other 2/10, obviously older and out of touch, ragged on her big time. But you can't win em all, and that ratio got me off to a great start in my quest to repeat. There were a lot of picks that got ragged on in the first 2 rounds, you'll see a few stick out like sore thumbs. But to each their own, and 1 flavour of ice cream would be very boring.

The rest of the next two rounds went as such.
AND NO THESE SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED AT WORK, in fact neither should my BLOG, now leave! But if you do decide to view then, be sure to utilize the zoom in feature.

1 - Jessica Alba
2 - Scarlett Johansson
3 - Eva Longoria
4 - Halle Berry (Still got it I guess, lots of "about times"...whatever
5 - Jessica Biel (Not a fan!)
6 - Joanna Krupka
7 - Angelina Jolie
8 - Adriana Lima
9 - Stacey Kiebler
10 - Alessandra Ambrosio (Scouted last year by yours truly)
11 - Beyonce Knowles (Always falls out of the top 10 - #1 My Ass)
12 - Jessica Simpson (Hate her)
13 - Heidi Klum (Somehow found a picture of her NOT pregnant)
14 - Christina Aguilera
15 - Shakira
16 - Liz Hurley (Nope that isn't a joke. We let some British Guy play)

Round 2
1 - Anna Kournakova (2002 Called, they want their selection back. Ha!)
2 - Elisha Cutbert (Pipe Dream her falling back to me at 2.15, Mmm)
3 - Charlize Theron (Love her!)
4 - Keeley Hazell (This years front runner for Rookie of The Year...)
5 - Carmen Electra
6 - Gisele Bundchen (Ms. Tom Brady)
7 - Vanessa Manillo
8 - Kelly Monaco (Yes Please)
9 - Ali Landry
10 - Grace Park
11 - Vida Guerro
12 - Terra Patrick (Porn Stars? We hit a new low here)
13 - Laetitia Casta
14 - Kelly Carlson
15 - Petra Nemcova
16 - Jolene Blaylock

Random Movie Review

2007-03-14T10:02:00.000-04:00

THE ISLAND

In honor of the IMDB.com themed "H.C.D.2007" and my first selection, I have decided to brush the dust off the Random Movie Review. I've been meaning to RMR this movie for a while actually. The Island definitely contains the elements required for a good action movie: Hot Actors, Multiple Explosions, Chase Scene(s), Multiple and Unique Death Scenes, etc. but it also has a lot of the elements for simply a good movie: acting, premise, & fun (okay not so much acting). Beware however Rotten Tomatoes has this hidden Gem at a paltry 39% a.k.a rotten, very rotten. However one of the Critics who gives this movie a thumbs down says:

"For about an hour, you forget this is a Michael Bay movie. Then the fireworks start coming and never stop."

Hmm... 1 hour of plot building and character development that is not in the style of Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor much?), then 1 hour of non stop MB "fire works" in an action movie...Boo Hiss! The people of the Island should put that quote on the cover of the DVD for Christs sakes.

Plot - courtesy of Wikipedia:

In 2019, when most of the outside world has been contaminated, a community of people, rescued from the toxic environment, live by utopian standards in an isolated colony. The rules of living are selected for them; clothing, meals, leisure, and jobs are all structured and controlled. Everyone in the community anticipates a special event, the lottery, in which one person wins a chance to move to a paradise, the only uncontaminated area left on Earth, known as "The Island."

I've watched this movie once from start to finish. However, factoring in the 45 minute chunks I've sat through thanks to TMN and brutal network programming, I've probably seen this movie a total of 5-6 times. All entertaining and I'm still moderately surprised just how badly this movie was originially advertised and how little I wanted to watch it back in the Summer of 2005. For those with TMN, check out TMNOD - it may still be there.

If you've already watched this movie, you too were probably pleasantly surprised. If you haven't give it a go - I don't think I've let you down yet.

Enjoy.

Hot Chicks Draft: Round 1 Selection

2007-03-13T20:41:00.000-04:00

Ms. Scarlett Johansson

With the 2nd overall draft pick in the 2007 Hot Chicks Draft, I have the pleasure of drafting Ms. Scarlett Johansson (J. Alba went #1). Scarlett is as cute and as dignified/classy as these selections are going to get. A great top 3 selection.

Im Memory of "Not Much of a Weblog"

2007-03-12T23:02:00.000-04:00

A World of Strange Guns

Hot Chicks Draft 2007

2007-03-12T09:21:00.000-04:00

Around this time last year, with poggie keeping me afloat, I was spending several hours a day looking for a full time job. Not a fun task. March - April were slow months for me for sure. Football season had ended, baseball was still a month away, and the predictable leafs were doing exactly what they're doing this year. I needed something to do other than the depressing task of looking for work, a hobby, a sport...a competition! And I needed people as sick and twisted as me to spend hours a day to do it. I turned to my friends at PigSkinAddiction

Pigskinaddiction is an online football community where of all the message boards, football is only a few. A community made up of 98% Americans, from all over the states and the world. Started by a few Army brats, this website has grown to over 4,000 "trough" members, and weekly, during the season, this site puts out fantastic free football insights filled with hilarious comments, weekly projections and of course their annual draft guide - a must own for the football lover. But deep within this site, in the forums people rarely visit, especially during the off season, resides the truly addicted. Football talk 24/7, political views (fun for a Canadian), Funny Videos / Pictures, excellent and not so excellent local articles, it is here I found what I was looking for: The 2006 Hot Chicks Draft.

An annual event at Pigskin, the Hot Chicks Draft was just what I needed. A competition between 12 degenerates with some extra time on their hands. A competition that worked the same as any other Sports Draft I've been a part of, except the players in this case, were you guessed it - Women. And lets be honest, this is just an organized, more adult (I said more adult, not more mature) way or ripping the pages out of Teen Beat as a kid and pasting them to your wall. But the timing could not have been better. I signed up immediately.

12 Teams. 6 rounds. Roughly a month to draft. Hottest combined team (as determined by an online poll) crowned the winner. The stakes? Along with the bragging rights the 11 losers had to change their online avatar (display picture) to anything the winner decided - for 2 weeks. The winner would also get a customized signature made up of his winning ladies to help tell the trough just who has the best taste in women and was crowned 2006 Hot Chicks Champion.

The draft began with me sitting near the bottom of the order - first off the board: Shakira, one or two people thought a little early for the hip shaking Latina to be off the board, but nobody was about to actually say otherwise. Second went Ms. Jolie a crowd favourite. The third pick, and early candidate for steal of the draft with what was thought to be consensus number one Jessica Alba... The pictures used to represent your selection had to sell your lady. There were pictures that either made or broke peoples teams. A bad picture, or one that does the girl no justice and you could be sunk. One of the rules was you were allowed ONE picture change for your entire team, so in other words get it right the first time. In my opinion the picture of Jolie @ 2 could have cost that team the title. After a few more top notch ladies and a few surprises it was time for the Canadian to draft - and lets be honest I had to represent, so with the 8th overall selection, I chose Calgary's own, Elisha Cuthbert. And the picture I chose, could have been the best of the entire 72. I've had people who don't care much for my selection say just how great that picture was... believe me it was nice. I rounded out my team with 2.5 - Petra Nemcova 3.8 - Keria Knightly 4.5 - Alessandra Ambrosio 5.8 - Natalie Portman & 6.5 Rachel Bilson. A good combination of Star Power, super models, up and comers and overall I'd say I had the best picture selection (googling hot women all day was tough work, but someones got to do it). By an overwhelming number in the end I was crowned 2006 Hot Chicks Draft Champion. Something I must say I'm very proud of - I obviously have a very good taste in women - right Liz?

It wasn't long after this title was bestowed upon me that I found a job, and all things for the year really started to shape up. Coincidence? I think not. The reason for this post however, other than to waste away a good portion of my first slow morning in over a month, (trust me it's well deserved) is to declare my intention to repeat as 2007 Hot Chicks Draft champion, starting in a week. I ask all readers to give me their favorites - players they would like to see on my team, including those late round sleepers. I'll keep you up to date on my team as we go along, and of course the results once finished. This year we're doing a Final 4 Bracket System starting at the sweet 16, playing down to the final 4 and of course the eventual champion, and yes that was my idea.

Sold

2007-03-12T09:16:00.000-04:00

Well, I have confirmation the "Sold" sign is on the grass of 17 Melina Lane.

Moving To "The Brook"

2007-03-07T13:41:00.000-05:00

Well, in what will ultimately be one of 2007's worst kept secrets, Liz and I have in fact bought a house and will be moving to Brooklin. It wasn't intended on being a secret, but turns out (to nobody's surprise) I am one of those people who must get to the bridge, before I worry about crossing it. So in other words there were many dotting "i"'s and crossing "t"'s that needed to be complete before celebrating the official announcement. And it would appear I have ample road ahead of me before the next bridge, so that day...is today. We're moving to Brooklin!

Where the hell is Brooklin you ask? Well if you follow the 407 east until it ends...it's another 10 minutes. You can also take the 401 to Brock Street North, drive through Whitby and arrive in Brooklin in less than 10 minutes. Brooklin is a nice town, not quite sure it's classified as a city yet, but since 2003 it has quadrupled in population (from 2,500 people to 10,000)and is rapidly growing. Brooklin, or from hence forth "The Brook" is technically Durham region, it is located slightly past the imaginary line where most houses go from simply unaffordable & 50 years old to affordable brand new houses. And when you already live in Markham - what's 15 more minutes for that luxury. No more renting!

One of the best parts of moving to "The Brook" is the fact we not only talked our best friends into looking for a home there as well, but they actually bought a house there before we did - meaning we had friendly neighbors before we even moved. Google has the drive from our place to theirs listed as 4.5km or 7 minutes - but that is taking the classic google's an idiot stupid way, I'd be SHOCKED if it was more than 5 mins. (We're the Green Dot / S&S are the Red Dot)

So enough of the town and the neighbors, onto the house itself:

#17 Melina Lane

It's a 3 year old raised bungalow. During our search Liz and I really enjoyed the bungalow. Lots of great living space, and coming from a town house, much fewer stairs. This picture shows you the single garage, double wide / double long driveway, landscaped path, front porch and the cute little lamp post and baby trees. Melina lane is not a through street, it backs on to a crescent so Melina itself, especially since we're at the end, should be very quiet and maybe down the road good for some street hockey!

This view is looking from the upstairs living area looking towards the front door. The raised part is nice, because the front door opens to a rather large foyer, 2 piece bathroom and garage entrance. No, thankfully that is not our furniture.

This is a view from the downstairs "4th" Bedroom (soon to be a sports themed wet bar / dart room) that looks through the finished basement to the back stairwell that leads upstairs. It's a really nice finished basement (something that I thought I was going to have to pay for separately) and gives us a second living/TV room, very much key to the survival of a couple who live in a bungalow...especially the couple who live in a bungalow with a brother. The room straight ahead is a good sized 3rd bedroom, and there is a 4pc bathroom on the right. Again - NOT OUR FURNITURE!

Check out this link for many more pictures and panoramas of the house - but don't delay because this link will only last publicly so long, afterall, the house is sold.

SW

2007-03-05T11:54:00.000-05:00

I firmly believe I would be more useful stuck in an elevator with a woman in labour than I would be standing over a printer that has malfunctioned. Maybe that's a good thing... but it didn't help me much this morning.

Wedding Day Slideshows

2007-03-02T18:10:00.000-05:00

The big hit from the Trentception is now available in the home game...

THE WEDDING PRESHOW

THE WEDDING DAY - "THE GONG SHOW"

Stalkbook

2007-02-28T10:57:00.000-05:00

Remember that 4th Grade food fight where the guy nobody talked to got hit in the face with an apple and cried for the rest of the day and everyone made fun of him for the rest of the year and called him Apple Eye? And it got so bad he moved away to go to a new school? Well that guy has just added you to his friend list on Facebook.

First off, I'll reserve my thoughts for now on how big of a loser I think you are for spending 4 hours a day on Facebook, and simply start stalking you. You see, with the information you freely give me, name, age, address, family history, personal identification comments - I could EASILY not only stalk you, but become you.

Did you know identity theft experts can crack 90% of the worlds personal passwords with simply a brief personal history and a drivers license? All information easily found, and freely provided on facebook.

Anyway - as much as I was against blogging for a long time - and here I am, Facebook will not become a daily routine. And if it currently is for you, think about keeping some of your information a little more guarded.

SW

2007-02-28T08:13:00.000-05:00

I was up far earlier than normal today, and on my way to work overlooking a giant field was a big beautiful owl. Hoo you ask? I said an owl! I'm not certain I've seen an owl before - that wasn't stuffed in a museum that is. Pretty cool.